Never the same again [NEEDS EDITING]

War 1

Ok , so I managed to fall asleep while doing planks .

But it was 4 already so I slept 2 hours and 30 minutes.

Great Taylor , I'm proud of you girl.

Note the sarcasm .

The boys jumped on my bed making me almost head a heart attack ,and currently, I'm on my third red bull.

Feeling just half the energy I used to have .. once , a long time ago , yesterday .

They bombarded me with recaps of what I have to do . 

"TALOR DON"T YOU DARE SLEEP LAST NIGHT YOU GAVE US THE HONOUR TO LISTEN TO YOUrVOCALS UNTIL 4 am "

"Stop yelling  Ryan , or I'll kill you with my bare hands"

"She is on her period"

I hear Luca say making me glare at him .

We were in the car making our way to the meeting place where we will meet with the front line .

The others, would come long after us . 

We made mental connection with every single person , Louis's idea , so we ould communicate  in silence and know when someone has trouble or .. you know , visit God.

Let's hope we are not going to feel that.

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I'm dying inside. All the sleep flew away little by little when the realization that the fight it's getting closer. 

Right now we are close to Lieun's castle .

The first line goes in  15 minutes , we wait for their signals and then we start making our way .

I'm pacing around , while trying to remember everything we rehearsed , the strategy , my weapons , my way to fight my everything , making sure I'm not going to forget anything.

When I'm stressed I don't know why but all the songs I listened in m whole life come to my mind.

One time I had this really important test , I studied I swear but I got so nervous about not failing it songs started to play in my head instead of formulas , then I panicked more and tried to cheat and that's the story of how I failed chemistry in 9th grade . But , after that I studied more and passed all the exams .. the next year .

WHY DO I THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW? I MIGHT BE DEAD IN 30 MINUTES.

I take a big breath in , then breath out and so on ,trying to calm down .

I look at the boys they were all looking down , probably as worried as I am .

I look at the others that were in line with us , they were .. pretty chill . What the fuck?

One of the guys notice my confused look and comes to me .

"My queen " and bow in front of me , making me feel the pressure even more.

"Don't , call me Taylor , and thats available for all the people that are fighting with us "

He nods smiling.

"I saw you looking at us confused. Is there a problem?"

"Umm , no is just. I'm really nervous but you are relaxed . How is that possible?"

He chuckles .

"We are honored to fight for our  queen , and we trust you , even though we won't win we will be by your side , and fight again until we die , we vowed that to you "

I feel my heart literally melting. God , this ...people have so much trust put into me .

I can't ... I just can't let them down .

"Hey , everybody ... umm I know this is weird but can we gather around here and hold eachother hands to have a .. kind of a moment before everything goes off? Plus I would like to dkjjmb..." 

Words Taylor .. word.

"To um.. say some things , if that's ok"

Everybody look at me curious , but listen to me.

I take the guy's hand and lean the other to be taken by Ryan , the others doing the same forming a big circle .

"So .."  I start " Umm.. I just wanted to say that no matter hat happens in this fight ,no matter what the result would be , personally.... I am going to always have your back , help you move your couch , or you when you are drunk " 

Bad Taylor , not the time for jokes. But still, I hear some chuckles here and there making me smile.

"Or more serious things . " I finish my sentence.

"I ..  want to thank you all , for everything you did for me , and everything you will do . I couldn't ask for better  people to fight by my side , to have the honor to meet you and know you as persons , to ambition me to win this war harder . "

I look at their faces and see everyone smiling , and looking at me with admiration .

I honestly don't know what they can admire , I should admire them for giving their life for me .

Suddenly , the stupidest idea ever hits me.

"Ryan , do we have some papers?"

He frowns.

"Why?"

"I .. I want everyone to write down a wish , so I can make them happen when we are going to win the war"

He looks at me amazed.

"I don't know where this idea come from , but ou are the sweetest cheesy person I know , and I love"

I blush .

In 5 minutes everybody wrote down their wishes. Some were reticent about this , some were making jokes but in the final Eveydoy wrote something so I was happy.

"Taylor .. the first line has to go .."

I take a big breath and make my way to the first line.

"Alright boys , good luck and give me a hug , I need affection"

I am a hug person. I love hugs .

They look at me confused .

So I open my arms and wait. 

It took a few seconds until the first person came to hug me , but then everybody got the courage and hugged me . I wished everybody good luck personally and then ... they had to go.

Now I was really nervous. After the first line left I started to hug everybody in my line a couple times until Ryan and Luca said to stop cause I'm scaring them.

Now we were waiting for the leader of the first line to give us a sign so we'll know when to go .

My queen , everything is clear , we stopped half way to Lieun"s room in silence, the alarm isn't on yet.

I bite my lip and look at the others , they were waiting for me to fo . 

I checked my arms , knife,gun everything was there.

Then looked at the others.

"Let's win this war"