*after school when we came back home*
I ran up to my room crying, not knowing what to do or where to go or how to react. I sat down speechless, hurt, and confused. I feel like knives are slowly entering my body one by one feeling the pain of each and every one.
I wish that I could go to the past sometimes regardless everything I've been through but life doesn't have a rewind button and if time machines did exist I would've sworn that I'd go back, reason being is that I am not ready for change nor am I ready to move, I'm not ready at all. I miss everything and everyone and that how the closest people in my life are now strangers or perhaps friends with benefits or maybe just a beautiful part of my life that turned grey? I don't know, I really don't. I'm ending this year badly, my feelings are so messed up and I don't know whether I'm sad or feeling fine. Even though the new people in my life might be better for me I have trouble accepting and trusting and living with anybody new, anything strange. I just want to go back and do whatever I used to do in wherever I was but that's not possible. It was a shocking experience and I'm all over the place, my feelings are somewhat between heartless and emotional that I got confused and now I'm lost somewhere in the middle of nowhere, I need some time alone sitting on an old rusty bench that was damaged on the outside but can still lift people up, that's who I am, a broken soul who tends to lift people up even though Its torn and that's fine I guess, I need some time on this old bench staring at the sea, more specifically staring at the waves splashing by like the thoughts entering my mind, looking around at the birds with open wide wings getting ready to fly and the scorching sun keeping me warm from the weather like someone trying to protect me from any harm while I'm endlessly drowning in thoughts and that's fine, it's peaceful for the mind and hurt soul and I guess that's fine, everything is. This is actually a lie, everything isn't fine it's not always cupcakes or rainbows but nobody tells this part of their stories they don't choose to say this part of their lives because it hurts just thinking about it, but I'll be ok. Just like I said it's going to be fine.
YOU ARE READING
•Just hopeful•
De TodoMeredith Hayes was always known as the bright and bold girl since childhood but as she grew up things started changing, she had two battles to face, reality and what goes up in her mind. Will life change her or is she strong enough to change her lif...
