Black Temptation

Chapter 26

Did he even notice that I was gone? Was I as important as he made me out to be? Oh, how I just want to feel important right now. I just want someone to tell me that I am not as bad as I seem. I am not as ugly as I feel.

But I can't think about that now. My early stop is fast approaching and I have to get by smoothly. Reaching my hand up, I see my desired street of Dorian and hold on to the little wire that would stop the bus if someone needed to get off. I close my eyes and with timing I pull the string and dip my head low at the exact same time, holding on while my momentum drags me forward.

It stops and the bus driver looks at me with tired, angry eyes. I change my vision back to the ground, letting go of the wire, and sprinting through the aisle to get off the bus. Susan and Fi's smell of soap and gum lingers over me as I reach the doors before he even opens them and, with head still down, wait impatiently for his weary hand to let me out.

"Come on! Let's go!" I hear Fi scream, yelling at the man to hurry. "That lady has places to be and so do we!"

I look from side to side. So, she knows I'm a girl. Warmer but not toasty. I shouldn't be this worried. He huffs, annoyed, forgetting his once pleasant gleam for the girls. The doors finally open and I rush out and cross the street. Smoke fights my eyes as the bus drives away, taking the devil and the person I've seemed have to lost, with her.

The rain has pleasingly died down but unmistakenly left its wetness around the rocky roads and mist of the frigid air. I feel my phone buzz within me.

12:55 am

Friday, August 21

Harry:

Where are you?

I ignore it and begin a fast stroll towards my desired destination, then it buzzes again and again and again.

Harry:

Why haven't you been answering my calls?

Harry:

I know you are reading this. Just give me a chance to explain. Please.

Harry:

You could get hurt! Come back. Running away doesn't solve anything.

I turn off my phone fiercely and start sprinting around the corner and down the amber sidewalk, lit by amber fairies. The state house passes by and I know I'm close.

Hands grab metal bars and pull strenuously to open the gate. The spiderwebs adjacent to me add to the spooky, unsettling feeling of being here.

A paved pathway welcomes me with an antagonizing laugh. Big magnolia trees sway as if they are dancing on my heart, knowing a piece of it is in the ground with her.

My feet fall on velvety ground, absorbing and holding my fear consecutively. Glimpses of stone angels and worn away crosses bring the reality of it crashing down on me like a boulder, and my legs can't take it. I close my eyes harshly, with wetness fulfilling their duties, and when I see her gravestone, my knees morph into pudding and fall in defeat.

I lower my shoulders and my eyes swell faster and saltier than ever before, my heart breaking. I read:

In loving Memory. June "Mabeline" Harper. August 21, 1960 - August 21, 2002. Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend.

My small hands run over the layered ground, seeing where dead petals lay from an earlier visitor's roses. I swear, if I could, these tears I shed would hold life giving magic and they would fill those petals and put them back on the stems with their first acquaintances....and my mother would smile. She would smile. And laugh, a joyous laugh. Then the flower would bloom, her soul stripped from those fallen, now restored, petals and brought back to me - Something, anything, to make this pain go away.