The Long Journey Home (Completed)

Chapter 18 (Edited)

I will not die but live, and will proclaim

what the Lord has done. Psalm 118:17

I pushed open the gate to the park and looked towards the swings, hoping that she was there. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I saw my younger sister sitting there and swinging. I made my way towards her, hoping that Gabriel was right, that I was the glue that was holding this family up.

Jasmine didn't lift her head when I sat down next to her. She didn't even make a signal that she knew that I was there.

I, hesitantly, glanced at Gabriel, causing him to nod his head before sighing. "Remember when Dad used to take us here?" I asked. I shook my head and chuckled. "We used to fight over who Dad would push first. Sometimes Dad would say 'push yourselves' because he was annoyed."

Jaz didn't say a word, but I could see a smile flicker on her face.

I looked at the slide where Dad had normally sat, watching us as we complained. "Kids would come down the slide to hit him. He never flinched but made goofy faces at us." I moved a hand through my hair and sighed. "I miss him," I whispered, my voice cracking. "But, I have to trust God and his plans."

Jaz scoffed and rolled her eyes. She tightened her grip on the chains, and I knew that she was disagreeing with me. "There is no God," she said, bitterly. "You taught me that."

"I did not teach you that. You heard it when I sung after Dad's death, when I was not sending the prayers that I had. And... I was wrong. There is a God."

"Don't give me any Bible crap," Jaz said. "I don't believe it."

I internally winced. I had no idea that I had affected her this much to make her stop believing in Him. "Why do you not?" I asked, looking at her.

Jaz clenched her jaw. Het whole body was tense, and I could see that she was trying not to cry.

"Why not, Jaz?"

"Because," she said, bursting into tears. "He took away our father. Our dad can not see everyone grow up and marry. He will not see Jason's baby when they have one. He will not walk us down the aisle on our wedding day." She cleared her throat. "He won't be able to see Patrick or Lilly grow up," she said, her voice cracking.

Tears pricked my eyes, and I felt my throat close up. "And, yet, there are many memories that we can share with our siblings. He might not be able to walk us down the aisle on our wedding day, but he will carry us in our thoughts and hearts." A single tear fell from my eye, and I quickly wiped it away. "There is a God. He took our dad, so we could tell his story. He took him so we can help others that will be going through what we are going through."

"Of what?" she asked, bitterly. "Dying in hospital?"

"Of how he never lost faith in the Father. Of how he cheered us on even if he wasn't there physically. Of how he loved horses and us. Those are the stories that we could tell."

"But he isn't here."

"In our hearts, he is," I said. I sighed and fiddled with the necklace that he had given me after my first fall from Night. I had taken it off and placed it away until today, and I knew that it was time for it to have a new home. So, I took off the necklace and handed it to my sister.

"What's this?" she asked, taking it. She read the note, frowning. "By your side."

"'Cause, I'll be by your side whenever you fall. In the dead of night whenever you call," I sung.

"And please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you," Jaz sung after I stopped. She looked at the necklace and then back at me.

"I think that you need it more than me," i said. "I, now, know that God and Dad are by my side even when I think I am alone." I turned to Gabriel looking pleased and offered a small smile.

Jaz sighed and nodded her head. She handed it back to me and turned around, lifting her hair off of her neck. "It's going to take me a bit to get my heart in order," she mumbled.

I turned towards her and placed the necklace around her neck. "It doesn't matter," I said. "As long as you feel like you are Him, it can take a very long journey."

Jaz turned around and gave me a hug. Her whole body shook as she cried and both of us knelt to the ground. "Please, never doubt," she practically begged. "I can't do it if you do."

I held her tight and squeezed. "I won't," I promised. I took a deep, shuddering breath. "I know where my home is."