The Long Journey Home (Completed)

Chapter 4 (Edited)

Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll—

are they not in your record? Psalm 56:8

"Are you alright?" Jason asked, as he backed the truck out of the place and onto the road.

"Ya, why wouldn't I be?" I asked Jason, leaning my head on the window, while we went to St. Joseph's, which was about an hour away.

"Well... you just seem kind of out of it," Jason replied. "Your eyes turned darker when you were talking with Kristen."

"About what?" I asked.

"With our Father, Emmy. You know that he loves us."

"If He does love us, then why is our dad dead? He has a two year old daughter that won't get to know him."

Jason's jaw tightened a little, and his hands gripped the steering wheel harder. "He still loves you, Em. He really does."

I snorted and tossed my head, making my auburn hair bounce. "Who will give me away? Huh? My dad is dead."

"Don't do this now, Em. I-I can't do this right now."

"Dad won't give my away, Jason. You're a male and-"

"Ember, stop," Jason said, forcibly and looked at me, his eyes showing his pain and anger. "I know that you miss him. I know that you are hurt, but Patrick, Jasmine, and Lilly need to stay with the Lord. You also have to stay with Him, since you've been Confirmed, remember?"

I huffed and folded my arms around my chest. He was right, though. I was confirmed in tenth grade, because I was Catholic.

"Dad'll be in heaven, you know," Jason said softly. "He's that kind hearted."

The sky, that had started darkening, while I was getting ready from horses, started to let the rain fall out, while we made our way to the hospital. It didn't pour out bushels of rain as I thought it would, but it did rain a little.

I stayed silent and blinked my eyes, trying to clear them. I didn't want to cry. I was the eldest child in the house, because Jason was off in college and was about to start a family of his own.

"Healing comes through tears, Em."

I rolled my eyes. "'Cause what if you blessings through raindrops, and healing comes through tears? And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you are near?' There is nothing about healing coming through tears."

Jason stayed silent as we stopped at a red light.

The halo around the red light, looked as it was saying 'stop doubting the Lord, your God. He'll be with you forever.'

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, trying to stop myself from praying. Right now, I didn't care. I hated him for taking away my father, who had so much love for life. He was the one that taught me all that I could do.

"You remind me of him," Jason said, his voice cracking. "You have his spirit, even though you look more like Mom."

"Not in the face, I don't," I said, softly, as I looked at him. "Nor in the eyes. Those are from our father."

He had tears down his face, as he looked at the red light. He didn't say anything but cleared his throat. His Adam's Apple bobbed a little, as if he was trying to stop himself from trying.

I looked away and shuddered. I hated the way his face looked in the eerie light of the stop light. It looked so.. weird. It looked as if he was an alien, or he was not human at hall.

The red light turned green, and we rode the rest of the way to the hospital, in silence. We were both lost in our own thoughts and grief.