DISTRACTED

SS: Longing

This is based off of real emotions, please don't laugh.
Thanks for reading.
•••

I let out a sigh, taking a big deep breath as I look through the darkness of the night.
I pull up my blanket to my stomach, the soft fabric sliding against my skin.
I lay on my bed, my back relaxing, my mind thinking.
But suddenly I get this feeling...
And that feeling makes me frown, feel even more alone in the dark.
I think through the feeling and I turn to my side, looking at the empty spot next to me.
I sigh, and suddenly I wish.
I wish that I had someone to sleep with.
I wish that I could simply roll over and grab a hand of a loved one. I wish that I could move up slightly and rest my head on someone's chest and concentrate on every breath they take.
I wish that I could talk to someone through the night before going to sleep.
I wish that I could smell their beautiful smell, the one that makes me feel safe.
I wish that they were the last thing I saw before I sleep, and the first when I awake.
I wish that I could sleep in someones arms, my legs tangled with theirs. I wish I felt a soft touch to my forehead, those goodnight kisses I never have anymore.
I wish I could hear a story from their lips as I slowly fall asleep.
I wish I could hear the words, 'I love you' or 'Goodnight love's before I sleep.
But no...
Every time I go to sleep, I am going to fill up half the bed and wait for the other half to be filled.
I will listen to the silence, and silence will tell words I can't hear.
I won't feel the arms of my love wrap around me, instead I will feel the cold.
My legs will be tangled with each other, my arms will rest alone. I won't have a goodnight kiss that makes my heart flutter.
I won't hear their deep voice speak my name, telling me to sleep.
The last thing I will see is darkness and the first thing I will see is the wall.
I won't smell them, I will smell air.
Every morning I wake up from my nightmares screaming, crying, with pain throbbing in my body, I will control myself alone.
I won't hear 'Good morning'.
I won't hear 'Good night.'
I won't hear 'I love you.'
I won't hear 'You're safe.'
I will hear silence.
I will hear the creak of the bed.
I will hear my constant sighs.
I will hear my parent's hushed voices.
As I lay in bed thinking, looking at the roof, I close my eyes and I can see.
I can see him.
The cute little idiot who changed me.
But when I open my eyes and look besides me, my feelings fly.
I sigh and move aside, making more room.
I extend my hand, palm open and wait..
I wait for another hand to grab a hold of it.
I wait for someone to bring me into their arms and kiss my forehead.
I wait for someones voice to sing to my ears.
I wait to open my eyes and look inside his.
I wait for the space to be taken away.
I keep my eyes closed, not wanting the chain of memories to leave, his voice echoing in my head.
I open them again...
I see no one...
All I see is my hand...
The hand that calls out for someone every night as they slowly fall asleep, and as they dream.
•••
I'm sorry, is this too deep?
As I write this, my light is off, it's 10:55 PM on a Saturday night, tears are rolling down my cheeks and I'm on my bed, longing.
Everyone makes a wish, but the shooting star gave herself away.
Thanks for reading. Remember, this is based off of real emotions.
The 'He' in this, he is a real person.
And this cute little idiot changed me a lot.
~Otero S.
~BL
Mr. 'He', I won't say your name, but if you are reading this...Don't feel awkward. It's called expressing my feelings love ;) I love you, my little one.
Thanks for reading my little angels and demons! Dont be a silent reader!
But seriously, what if that did happen? Like, my eyes are closed, and when I open them I'm literally looking into someone else's eyes.
I will be like, "Fu-Fuck! What the-? Who the hell are you?!"
XD
Comment down below if anything happened to you when you woke up...
I have one: I went to the bathroom anf when I looked down...there was a fucking squirrel. I screamed and the squirrel jumped and skittered off the tiles in a rush, running around the house as I ran to my room, jumping on the top bunk (still screaming) My sister was like, "I wan it! I wan it!", while chasing it. And me mum was laughing as she tried to get the poor dude out of the house.
Nowadays when I see a squirrel, I drop to my knees and hands and crawl to it, keeping my mind clear of hunting and killing. they can sense your thoughts. that's why they run at times. I get so scwose to the wittle sqwurril :3
Anyways...Thanks!