DISTRACTED

SS: I'm sorry...

I smiled at his laugh, the sound I heard every morning. It was the sweetest sound I have ever heard, the sound that made butterflies fly.

His eyes were the brightest orbs I have ever seen, and his smell was the mouthwatering fragrance I smelt every day. His voice was the best song that has been sung, and his looks are the best photos made.

"Hah! So funny." His friend spoke, recalling a memory.

I shrunk back in my seat, not wanting to disturb anything.

The bus parked at the school and I quickly jumped off, running away from the boy that I would never talk to.

--

All day long, he was in my head. I can't take it anymore. I'm loosing myself everyday because I don't have the courage to talk to him. Why am I so scared?! I groan, hitting my head against the seat.

I feel the seat next to me sink and I suck in a breath as I turn to the person who sat down, realizing it was him. I hold back my gasp.

He gives me a smile, but I could see the pain behind his eyes. "Hello."

"H-Hi...A-Are you...D-Do you need something from me?"

He nods, his smile turning into a frown. "Yeah..." He reaches into his black backpack, taking out a small white envelope, his hand brushing on mine. "Don't read this until midnight tonight please." He winks at me.

I nod, curiosity eating at me. What was in the letter? I ignore the letter and smile at him. Suddenly, his bus stop comes and I look at him.

"Goodb-"

My words melt away as his lips collide with mine, giving me a sweet kiss. I lean into the kiss, but he pulls away, climbing off the bus. I sink into the seat, my lips still lingering with his touch, and my cheeks heated.

Did he actually just kiss me?!

My bus stop comes next, and I ignore the judgmental looks I get everyday. Today I didn't care. Rushing into my home, I smile, looking over at my mom and dad.

"Hi Ma! Hi Dad!"

"Go to your room." My mother slurs. My father didn't look up from his computer screen.

Oh yeah, I forgot for a second. My parents and I aren't close. Smiling to myself, I rush up to my room, doing my homework.

I hate homework.

---

I look over at the time to see 11:50 glowing with bright numbers. I would have been sleeping two hours ago, but I wanted to open the letter. And I will not open it too early. He said 12:00 exactly.

I swallow, looking over at the time to see 8 more minutes. I wonder what could be inside the envelope. Is it a charm? A key to his house? His phone number? Tickets to see Mark and Jack?!

I let out a groan as I see the clock saying I had 5 minutes. Swiping my sweating palms on my pants, I take a deep breath and switch my light on before sitting back inside my warm bed.

4 minutes.

I let out a shaky breath, looking down at the perfect handwriting.

To: Scarlet Winters

From: Blake Hoffman

Don't open until 12:00 please. Thx.

I look over at the time, 3 minutes. I let out a sigh, looking up at the roof.

Why did he kiss me? I closed my eyes, remembering how his lips were suddenly on mine and his tongue danced with mine. I remembered his soft palm crawling to my hair and holding me in place, as he was afraid I would run away. But he didn't give me time to kiss him back. I hear a click and I look up to the time.

12:00

I jump up and grab the letter, opening it and pulling out the slip of paper that was inside of it, running my hand over the smooth paper before reading it.

Dear Scar,

I'm sorry.

Everyday, I see you sit behind me and I don't have the courage to take a deep breath and have a simple convo with you. And I will never have the courage. Why?

Everyday I hear rants from my parents, telling me of how much of an idiot I was, how pathetic I was, and how the would never love me. At school, I would get so many F's and so many shoves and kicks.

So, I told myself I was done. It was time that I died.

Scar, I never told you this, but I love you. I love you so much. Everyday when I see you, it heals another crack in my heart. You tell me, don't give up. In class when I hear your voice, I can't help but sink from the sweetness of the melody. Your smell that flies off you is amazing-lavender and a hint of mint.

Thank you, Scar, for letting me die with you being my last thought. My last words is your name. "Scarlet Marie Winter"

Isn't that name beautiful? It belongs to the girl I wished was mine.

I love you Scar.

Signing out, forever, Blake Hoffman.

Tears roll off my cheek as I shake my head. No. No. It can't be. My perfect, perfect Blake can't be dead. I place the letter back in the envelope with shaking hands, placing it inside the envelope again.

I roll over in my sheets, stuffing my face inside my pillows, my body jumping, shaking with silent tears.
That night, I dreamed of Blake Hoffman.

--

I jump into the bus, my pateince killing me. I had waited all night for him, waiting, waiting, waiting. The next bus stop comes and I watch as his friend comes up and sits where he always sits. I watch as a tears rolls down his cheek.

"Dammit Blake! Why did you have to die?! Why?" He mutters.

So it's true...

Blake Hoffman...

is...

dead...

I let out my tears, crying harder, yelling his name, wanting nothing but Blake.