Titanium

Part 8-Lena

Diclaimer: I  do not own anything, Lauren Oliver owns it all.

Lena 

It was Raven. But it wasn't. There was no emotion on her face and her whole left arm was gone. 

I let out a blood curdling scream for my friend, my sister. I finally let the tears roll down my face as I crouch next to her. 

"She's not dead."

Tack. I didn't even know he was there; clutching her hand. 

"She's not," he says again. "She was shot in her shoulder. Just above her heart." His voice cracks as he says the last part. 

"But-" I stutter but he cuts me off. 

"We had to amputate her arm. That's all," he tells me, voice raising. "She will live. She has to live."

I nod as a brush a short piece of hair away from her eyes. Her closed eyes. All I can think right now is that I will see her eyes light up again. I will. 

Suddenly I see a flash of a red shirt to left and look up to see Julian standing 10 feet away; mixed in with the crowd. He motions his head to the side to say he wants to talk to me. Even though I am reluctant to leave Ravens side, I nod. I have to trust that she will wake up and I need to talk to Julian. I owe it to him. 

I follow him until we're standing under a tree to the left of Raven. 

He speaks first. 

"I saw Alex."

"Julian, I-" he cuts me off. 

"I also saw Hana Tate. Who was supposed to be married to the mayor of Portland. I know you were friends with her. And I know what it means now that Alex is back-he wouldn't have come back for no reason-but I need to hear it from you."

"Julian," I sigh. "I am so sorry I played with you. But you have to know it wasn't on purpose. I didn't know; I could see that you really were just a way to forget him.

"And when he came back I, well I guess I was so mad at him for how he was treating me that I leaned on you even more. And I care about you. I really do. But I never really loved you." I whisper the last part.

Knowing that all I just said was true, it feels good to have that of my chest. To be able to admit to him and to myself, the truth. 

"Have you always known?" He asks his voice raising but somehow still managing to be quiet; like it was shouting inside me. 

"I guess I have," I admit, "I just wasn't even able to admit it to myself, I couldn't deal with the consequences of fighting for love, going through all this for love, and then ending up with none at all."

I can see the tears forming at the edges of his eyes, but he holds them back. Without saying another word, he walks back towards the crowd of people. I walk back to Raven and see something that 5 hours ago I thought if never see again. 

I see Raven; eyes open, staring at me. Speaking. 

"Hey, Lena."