Titanium

Part 15-Lena

Disclaimer: I do not own Delirium or any of the characters.

Lena:

"When did you know? When did you know that you didn't love him?" He asks it quietly, but I know that the answer to this question holds more magnitude than anything else I will say to him. 

My mind begins to think, to formulate the perfect answer, my mind knows I can't bear to not have him again, so it is prepared to do anything to prevent that from happening. But my heart already knows the answer, and that is what comes flying off my tongue. 

"When he kissed me," I say, my words ringing true to me in the depths of my heart. Alex stiffens a little as I speak, and looks slightly confused at my answer. I hurry to expand on my answer, and am suddenly jolted back to the days of sitting outside at 37 Brooks, trying to impress him with every word I say. The Lena in those memories feels so far off now that I don't even feel like the same person. Except when it comes to Alex, he makes me jittery and excited still. 

"When I kiss you, and one of us pulls away, my breath hitches in my throat, as if I can only really breathe when I  kissing you, when I am with you. You make me feel alive. And that's what love is, isn't it? Trusting the other person so completely as to let them be the thing keeping you afloat in the this world. With him, it was the opposite. I care about him, but the love was never really there."

He nods slightly, eyes shining as he looks at me. He leans in and presses his lips to mine, just for a fleeting second. When he pulls back, he whispers breathily,

"Can you breathe now?" 

I nod, and kiss him again, but only for a second, we still have more to talk about. Ignoring issues doesn't make then go away, it only lets them fester and grow into something more than they originally were. 

"What about Coral?" I ask. Even though she told me that Alex loved me, and she knew he didn't really feel anything for her, I still needed to hear it from him. 

"Oh, Lena," he says. "That meant nothing. Nothing compared to you. I had thought you had moved on, so I though I should too, or at least try to."

I nod, but that is not the question that is really biting at me. What I really need to know is why. Why did he push me out, what was he so hostile? I get the whole thinking I've moved on thing, but didn't he know that I would have come running into his arms with south as one word from him? 

I don't know if there even really is an answer to this question, but I'm going to try my best to get it. 

"Why, Alex? Why were you so icy towards me, why didn't you fight to get me back?" 

His eyes change with sadness and regret, and I know that this is something he has probably thought hard about before. He begins to give me an answer, when suddenly the door to the trailer comes slamming open.

A/N: Thanks for reading! nd thank you for 60 reads!!