The Bucket List

Chapter 41

AUTHORS NOTE:

HEY GUYS SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED I WENT ON VACAY FOR THE HOLIDAYS. I AM THINKING OF ENDING IT SOON TO START ANOTHER STORY. BUT THANKS FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO READ MY STORIES AND JUST HAVE SOME REAL PATIENCE. I LOVE Y'ALL. BUT, YEAH I AM ENDING IT SOON. THIS ISNT THE BEST CHAPTER...SO SORRY IN ADVANCE. THIS CHAPTER IS A LITLE DRAMATIC AND EMOTIONIAL. OH WELL.

SPOILER ALERT: MEDIA FINDS OUT WHAT HARRY HAS BEEN HIDING. TEHE

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Media's POV:

We have been in Hawaii for 2 weeks now. I am bored. It gets quite boring after a while, might I say. So We have been doing new things, but I can't help but start feeling weaker and weaker as time goes by. I am pale. I am weak. I am super skinny, like unhealthy skinny. I know my time is coming less then 2 years. I guess the doctor wanted me too feel grateful and be happy for once, but I had accepted it. I gave up on trying to look good. I was watching tv with Harry's arm wrapped around my shoulders. Everyone else was gone for now. 

I leaned my head against Harry's chest and hugged his torso. I suddenly felt a strange feeling in my stomach. What the heck. I hadn't eaten much today, maybe just some soup. But i felt what every it was coming up. I quickly sat up and ran a fast as I could to the nearest bathroom. I bent down and before i knew it was throwing up. Blood? What? Damn, this isn't good. I softly cried to myself. I kept throwing up blood, which was quite unpleasant. I felt so sick and weak, I didn't like it. My hair was short but thin. I finally stopped coughing up blood, but my crying didn't cease. I held my legs to my chest and cried. I felt someone's muscular arms wrap around me hold me close. I cried into them not carrying who it was. 

"Shhh. Just let it out." Harry whispered.

"I am hurting inside Harry. I am weak. Ugly. Not beautiful. I wish I could just die already." 

"Don't say that Media." Harry said seriously. 

"Why not? I am dying anyways. No one will miss me. I am alone." I whispered.

"Don't you dare say that. I am here. Have you ever thought about how much I will miss you if you left, forever. I will die inside." Harry said softly.

We stayed in this position for while, until Harry picked me up and carried me to the room. 

"Stay with me." 

"Always."

*1 Day later*

I felt like shit. Enough said. I being coughing up blood more frequently now. I been staying in bed a lot and Harry has been feeding me and taking care of me. I felt like a baby or an old person. And I was none of them. 

I was in no currently mood of dealing with anything, right now. 

Harry walked in with a bowl of soup and a smile on his face. How did he manage that? I instantly smiled in return. 

"Morning Media, well, afternoon."

"Morning and afternoon Harry."

"Can you sit with me Harry?"

"Why yes I would love to." 

I giggled as he lied in bed with me. 

Harry's POV:

"Can I tell you something Harry?" Media said.

I turned to her and she was already looking at me. She still looked so beautiful.

I nodded my head waiting for her to continue. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth.

"I am scared of dying. I am scared of seeing nothing. I don't want blackness to consume me. I am scared. I know I may not show it sometimes, but I am scared, no wait, terrified. I was always scared of dying, I was scared of dying alone, unloved." She had a tear coming from her eyes and i quickly wiped it away. 

"But you, Harry, you changed it. I dont feel scared to die anymore. When I am with you I feel stronger. I feel healthy." She smiled at me. "I am so thankful to have you in my life. To be mine. You are like my angel." She laughed. "Cheesy I know, but its true. You help me. You make me strong when i feel the most weak. So I am incredibly thankul. You are the sweetest, kindest, most truthful, funniest, and most goodlooking guy I ever met." She said the last part with a wink and giggled to herself. I gulped and didn't know what to say. I was in shock with both happiness and guilt. I think I should tell her. I can't keep going on with not telling her.

"Media I got something to say to you too." I whispered, barely audible. She was smiling at me. That smile oh how I loved that smile, but at that very moment I hated it. It made me guilty. Made me just terrible. 

"Okay...so...uhm.. like uhm..." I mumbled. 

She giggled. "Just tell me I will understand." 

"Okay...welltheentiretimeiwaswithyouitwasforacharitycasethatihadtodoformanagementsinceihadbadpublicitypleasedontbemad."

"What? Harry talk slower and use spacebars."

"Okay well the entire time I was with you it was for a chartiy that I had to do for managements since I had bad publicity. Please don't be mad. I started falling for you as the days went by. I love you Media."

She stared at me. Her smile was gone. Her eyes were getting watery. I reached to wipe the tears away, but before I could she moved my hand away. She shook her head. I shook my head. I was losing her.

"I was for charity...you never cared for me..." She took deep breaths.

"Maybe when I first met you yes, I am not going to lie on that, but I mean as I got to know you, I started falling for you, bad. Please believe me."

"I don't think I can. I want to, but I can't."

"Please don't Media. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then why did you do it in the first place? Even if it was me as a charity case, why would you even agree to do that to someone? Even worse someone sick and possibly dying. This shows another side of you. Another side I never want to see." 

"I know but... I love you."

"...I love you too Harry..."

"Can we move past this? Start over?"

She shook her head. She was crying and I am pretty sure I was going to also. 

"I think this is a sign. I am dying. You are a famous singer. It doesn't fit."

She started getting up from the bed slowly. I ran over to her to help her. She waved me off.

"I need to learn how to do it by myself." 

I dont know why, but I nodded. She started taking her stuff and packing? 

"Why are you packing?"

"I need to leave Harry. I hate to let you go, but I have to anyway as much as it hurts."

She didn't have much clothes so she finished quickly, which I hated. She took her bag and and started heading to the door. 

"Don't go. I love you Media."

"I love you too Harry, but I need time, which I don't have. What you told me actually really hurt me."

She opened the door and turned around.

"Goodbye Harry."

I broke then and there. I was crying. Not manly, but who cares, the love of my life left for something I decided to do before. My stupid decisions when I was immature affected my life now, something really important to me.

"See you later Media."