The Tutor | 2016 ✓

15

I stand by my locker hella lost in so many thoughts. The feeling of his lips against mine ran through my mind all day. Every time I think of it, I feel the stupid feeling in my stomach. Butterflies, beautiful butterflies flutter around my stomach but I don't want them to be smashed and destroyed this time. But at the same time, I wish the feeling would never come back.

What is this feeling? Does everyone feel this? It's a paradise and war zone like PILLOWTALK. How did Zayn ever survive to write that song? It's total torture. And it only comes around when he does- Ryland I mean... not Zayn.

Is it bad that I like the feeling?

How can I like this feeling if I don't even know what it is? How is any of this shit possible? I feel like a fucking scientist trying to get to the center of the earth! I'm too lazy for any of that though.

I place the rest of my textbooks and folders into my locker absolutely absentmindedly then find my way out of the school.

Maybe it'll be best if I really did stay away from Aries this time. I know I said that last time but I think I mean it this time. I also said it's impossible to stay away from your neighbor. I'll make it possible.

It'll be best for the both of us. Because if he feels this mysterious feeling then we're both doomed. I can't stand it anymore.

Whilst on my way home, walking with my head down and my back slumped, I ran into someone. Their body obviously belongs to a girl, it not being tall nor that sturdy.

"Hey, best friend! Why haven't you called or texted me? Oh wait, I don't care. Anyways, how are things with my old fúck buddy Ryland, huh? Good? Bad? Hopefully bad." Her voice is like her long ass acrylic nails on a chalk board and it literally made me cringe.

"Fúck buddy?" I question.

"Yeah, we go way, way back. He may be my favorite, though!" She squeals.

"Well, everyone knows you are 'fúck buddies' with the whole entire school so cut poor Ryland some slack, would ya? Oh and maybe the whole football team, too. They probably can't stand you." I wink at Peightyn before walking around her, leaving her there in her exact place in which she was standing since I ran into her. "Oh, and it's okay to cry. Just make sure to wipe off all of the makeup that consists of half your body weight before you do so! Wouldn't want the sewers getting all clogged up with your Mac!"

I walk off feeling kind of proud of myself but also feeling bad. Bad because she used to be my best friend and I don't know what's gotten into her stupid ass mind lately. Like, god for bid I have other things in my life to worry about besides Peightyn-fucking-Rogers! But I also feel proud because I stood up for myself to her, something I've been dying to do for so long and I didn't even know it.

I've never been close to her. I've never liked the things she has. I hate partying and running around in clothes like she wears- which is almost nothing. I've never liked the music she does but we jammed out to it anyways because it made me feel good. The memories of Peightyn that those songs held gave me life. How so very wrong I was, though.

I was codependent, something I tend to do when I believe people really love me. Another reason why I believe, deep within myself, that I s hould stay away from Aries. I'm not capable of any kind of relationship or bonding with humans in any way.

But Peightyn... she's been there since day one. No- she's been there since day one I started being her sidekick and it took me long enough to realize it. The minute everything ain't about her and her only she fucking flips her shit.

I don't know why she keeps bringing Aries into this though.

"Bitch, no. Get back here! You don't walk away from me, Everly!" Peightyn shouts but I just remain walking and ignoring her. Her voice literally annoying to crap out of my now.

You know how that one really annoying song plays on the radio more times that it should be played? Her voice was even more annoying that right now.

"I'll do whatever I want. I'm not your sidekick anymore."

"Sidekick? Are you serious, Everly Ryan?" I stop where I stand and turn around, Peightyn fast walking up to me.

I point my finger sternly at her and say seriously, "don't you dare play the ''middle name game' on me, Peightyn. You're not my mother!"

"Your mom ain't ever around! Someone's gotta keep you under control."

"Why should I listen to you when your mother is always here and can't keep you under control?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you heard me. Don't act like you didn't, Peightyn! Now, please fuck off, thanks. I have other things and better things to worry about than this."

"Like what? You're nothing without me. No one to care about you. No friends. No life. No fun. That was all me! Don't you see that? And you think you can just take my man like that!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I yell. At this point, I'm so pissed I'm about to explode.

"Ryland! You took him from me and I don't even know how! You're so ugly and worthless and I'm so much more than you! I'm surprised he can even see you because of how much nothing you posses! Like, how are you not invisible!?"

Tears bombard my eyes but I fight them back. I don't cry, Everly Ryan Monroe, don't cry. My mom always told me it was a sign of weakness and that fighting them back was the strongest thing a girl could do.

"And I'm surprised, Peightyn Rogers, that you're not a toilet with all of that shit you're full of." A faint voice gets loader as a familiar car pulls up.

My vision is blurry blocking my view of whatever it was but my ears was all I needed to know what was happening. The familiar revving of the black matte Ferrari  with the familiar scratchy, deep voice.

I release a slight laugh at Ryland's statement towards Peightyn.

"Need some water for that roast, Peightyn? Oh wait, maybe you need it for how fucking thirsty you are, instead?" Ryland finishes before bursting out in sudden laughter. "C'mon, get in the car, Ev."

"Now you're on her side, babe? What happened to us?" Peightyn sticks out her bottom lip to Aries making him laugh even more. "What's so funny?"

"You're ignorance-" I blurt. And I have no shame.

"And, I'm not you're 'babe'. Whoever it is, I feel really bad for them. Also, I was never on your side. I've never liked you... like, ever. There was never an 'us'. I know I'm every girl's dream guy-" Ryland turns and winks at me. I slap his shoulder and roll my eyes at him. "But, like, keep dreaming."

Ryland rolls up the window and starts off onto the road again. I can't help but laugh. Laugh and cry. I'm crying. But... but I've always promised myself I'd never cry. And I'm crying in front of Aries, too. I'm literally a disgrace.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you this again, one last time, and you're going to answer me honestly." Aries demands in a husky voice. "What's wrong?"

I sit there for a moment cleaning myself up. I use the ends of the arms of my sweater to wipe the escaped tears from beneath my eye. I involuntarily sniffle a few times but I didn't really care anymore. I tried laughing my crying off like it wasn't weird or awkward but it was and I couldn't hide it anymore.

"You want me to be honest?" I ask genuinely.

"Please."

"Okay, then." I said before taking a long pause to breath. "What's wrong with me? Well... everything."
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