Best Mistake

First Love

Not an update but I want to share this to you guys. hope you don't mind. :)

It’s December and tomorrow’s our Christmas party in school, it brings so much memory for me. I remembered it was also our school’s Christmas party (2012) when we first laid eyes on each other. It was magical and I felt my heart beat erratically for the first time… and it was because of you.

You were my source of strength and comfort at that point of my life. I know I was too young to feel such emotion at that age. But could you blame me? I couldn’t stop myself from falling and I fell hard. We had our share of conversations through texts and facebook, before we officially met at that Christmas party.

I felt that it was kind of unfair on my side because I fell without even you making a move or any efforts to make me notice you.

Everything was so fast at that moment and that I just suddenly woke up one morning and my heart started beating for you.

Days and months had passed and my love grew stronger and I let myself chase you. I chased you and begged for your love.

You had your fair share of relationships at that time, you went out on dates, you courted several girls but in the end they all left… but I stayed.

I never left even though it pains me to stay. To stay and bare all the heartbreaks you’re causing me.

Yes we do talk at school and we even exchange messages but you never really noticed me. You never really thought about how much I could do for you.

You broke me, but I never hated you.

You made me cry but I couldn’t deny the fact that you were also the reason why I smile.

It was the very first time that I ever felt such emotion… the first time that I ever felt love.

And I did so many crazy things for this love I had for you. Looking back right now, I couldn’t even believe that I actually could do so many crazy stuffs for you. But what’s the point? You never really cared about how I felt right?

Have you even thought about how I felt when I knew that you and my friend were already official? Didn’t you know how painful it was to hear how she shared how you both shared your first kiss on your first date?

You tortured my heart too much. You stepped on it over and over again whenever I see you together.

I can’t even count how many times I wished I was the one you would prioritize, that I would be that girl you’d say “I love you’s” all over and over.

Yes, you did say you loved me, but was it even true? You said you loved me but you weren’t really inlove with me.
You only see me as a sister or maybe your toy perhaps?

You played with my feelings, you broke me. You left me shattered, weak, and helpless. There was no one I could lean on at that time.
It was hard…

Sleepless nights, tears wouldn’t stop from falling, and I couldn’t even think straight at that time. You were the only person who keeps on running on my mind. I gave so much of my love for you that I forgot to love myself.

Six months of coping up with the heartbreak and I finally moved on. It was still hard for me whenever I get to walk pass you in the hallways and cafeterias. I could still feel that suffocating air whenever I see you together with her.

But I said to myself… I will be okay and finally I could say that right now I am fine already ( I’ve already moved on and I’m happy.

Right now I want to say how thankful I am to meet you. You made me stronger and I learned to love myself the hard way. I hope you’re happy right now bee. You would always be a part of me and that you are one of the person who left a great mark in my heart.

From all the happy memories down to all the bitter sweet ones. Take care of yourself and I hope you would find someone who would love you more than the love I could have offered you and maybe this time you would hold onto her and notice her efforts and return the same intensity of love she would be giving you.

PS: HE WAS THE REASON WHY I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF MAKING THIS STORY XD

Merry Christmas Loves :* I just want to share to you my first heartbreak so yeeeaaaaah :D