Then and Now (?)

Coloring

We walk in the door and I immediately sit down on the couch and start to open the crayons and colored pencils. A small squeal escapes my lips. I look over at Lia who's staring at me in anticipation. I hand her the coloring books she chose and I slide off the couch to lay on the floor. Lia does the same as she lays on her stomach and faces me, propping her herself up on her elbow too. I grab my coloring book and the pencils and flip to the first page; there's two puppies sleeping. I smile and lay my chin on my arm and begin coloring. I felt my phone go off in my back pocket and frowned. I pulled out my phone and stared at the screen for a moment. It was a text from Jake. I haven't seen his name across my screen for a long fucking time. I opened the message. 'Can I please come over... please Em...' I stared at my phone. "Emily, what's wrong?" Lia asks and looks up from her coloring book. I put a smile on my face and say, "Nothing sweetie. Do you want something to drink?" I change the subject. She nodded and said, "Thanks." I stood up and put my phone back in my pocket as I walked to the fridge for some orange juice. I poured her a glass when. I walked back to the living room and notice she has moved up to the couch. Lia smiles as I hand her the drink; I smile back. I grab my phone and sit back on the floor. "Hey Lia, I have to call someone really quick, okay? I'll be in my room but I shouldn't be long. If you need me just come on in." I told her and she responded, "Okay." and went back to coloring.

     I went to my room and unlocked my phone. I pressed the call button and took a deep breath. The ringing stopped and I heard breathing on the other end of the phone. I had a sharp intake of breath. "Jake..." I said into the phone. "Emily, I-i'm... I am so fucking sorry..." He started. I shook my head, knowing he couldn't see me. "Don't." I demanded, my voice getting thick. I sat on the edge of my bed. "Em, can I come over. Please. I need someone to hold me, I need someone to run to." He begged. That was it. I broke, "Please hurry. I need you too. I'm staying at the one apartments down the road. My apartment is 67B." There was a pause but I heard him start to cry too. "I'm coming, I'll be there." And with that, I hung up and went out to the living room. "Lia," I started, "It's late and you need to go to bed." She looked up at me and sighed. "Come on, your bag is in my room. You can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep out here." She got up and grabbed my hand as we walked to my room. I handed Lia her bag and she sat on my bed pulling out her PJ's. I told her she can just change in here as I turned on my t.v. for her. I turned off the light and said, "Goodnight Lia." She crawled under the blankets and gave a muffled, "Goodnight Emily." I shut the door as I walked out of my room.

   I'm pacing back and forth, waiting for him to knock on the door. I face plant in the couch out of boredom, but as I do that there's a knock on the door. I flip off the couch and land on my ass. "Fuck." I mumble as I get up to open the door. I reach the door and my hand pauses on the knob. I close my eyes and hold my breath. I turn the knob and slowly open the door.

   "Emily..." Jake started and I opened the door all the way before wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest. He wrapped his arms back around me, placing his chin on top of my head. "I'm sorry." I mumbled against him. He let me go for a second but his hands lightly gripped my face and made me look up at him. "Don't. God don't you ever apologize to me again." Jake was looking at me, and I tried to stop the crying. He wiped my tears that were running down my face. He started to pick me up but I released him. He frowned a little. I moved out of the way so he can walk inside. I shut the door behind him and watched him as he looked around my apartment.

    I sit down on my couch; a moment later Jake sits down beside me and pulls me against him. I was almost in his lap, my legs draped over his.  I sighed and said, "I'm sorry I ran to you." He looked down at me, "I'm not." was what he responded. I felt a break down coming on. I felt the heaviness in my chest. I felt the way my throat closed up and clenched. I noticed how the only thing I could think was, 'it's all your fault.' I looked up at he and swallowed. He stared back at me. "Em, you should kno-" I cut him off as I sat in his lap, facing him with my legs on either side of him. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, and leaned against him, putting my head on his shoulder. "I just want to sleep Jake." I said and he began to rub my back. I felt my eyes get really heavy. "Then sleep." He said, and stretched out on the couch, pulling me on top of him. I put my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat as I drifted off to sleep.