|You Know You Love Me|✔️

«Chapter 6»

Calum
I woke up early, way too early.

It was still dark out and I was still cuddled up to a softly snoring Luke. I smiled and kissed his forehead gently, getting out of the bed slowly, so I didn't wake him.

I looked at the clock, it read 4:56. I just sighed and went to the mini kitchen to make myself some coffee.

We were supposed to get up in a couple hours to move on to the next town but I knew I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon.

I sat down at the table and just looked out the window at the busy streets below.

It was weird for me, this whole thing.

I was single. I was still trying to wrap my head around it. I didn't have a boyfriend. I wasn't in a relationship.

I wasn't sure if I knew how to be single. I mean my whole life I had known Michael, or at least most of my life, ever since I was little. And I knew he was my soulmate. And the moment we were teens, we made it official.

I had never been single in my life, unless you count my kid years.

I really had no idea what it was like. I guess it just meant that I did things on my own, with me, myself and I.

I didn't really mind to be honest, it felt kinda good.

I was free from heartache and pain. I mean sure it hurt that the boys I wanted fucked up, but it was nice to not think about that.

For once in my life, I felt this weird sense of loneliness. Like I knew the boys were there for me, I knew they would be, but they wouldn't be by my side all the time and they wouldn't be with me.

It was sad but happy at the same time. They couldn't hurt me, I had the space I wanted and needed.

It felt good. But it also felt bad.

It was bittersweet.

I jumped when I felt Luke wrap his arms around my shoulders. "You scared me." I said with a sigh and he smiled softly.

"Sorry. What're you doing up so early?" He asked and I looked at the clock. It read 6:20.

I just shrugged. "I had a lot on my mind."

"Had or have?" He asked and I sighed again.

"Have."

He nodded like he understood and pulled a chair up to sit next to me.

"I don't want to put more on your mind but I just have to ask so I don't cross any boundaries." I nod my head for him to continue and he takes a deep breath.

"I know that you blame Michael and Ashton for what they did, and I know what they did was bad and terrible but I know they regret it." I furrowed my eyebrows, not sure where he was going with this. Was he trying to talk them up?

"Luke what-" he held his finger up for me to wait and he continued.

"I know, okay? But it wasn't just their fault."

I had to take a deep breath. Was he saying it was my fault? Oh hell no. What could I possibly have done that made them treat me that way? To ignore me, to neglect me? What had I done to not deserve their love?

"It's mine too." He whispered and I look at him with wide eyes.

"W-What? No it's-" He cuts me off again, his voice louder this time.

"It is, okay? It's my fault. I didn't do anything about it, I saw it happening and I didn't say anything like I should've. I'm as much to blame as them. So, please don't give me special treatment because I don't deserve it. It's my fault too." He stops and looks at the wall, letting out a shaky breath.

He won't look at me and I smile sadly at him.

"It's not your fault Luke. I know you feel guilty but you were dealing with something too. I don't blame you, hell I don't blame them either. But you have nothing to be sorry about, it's not your fault." He smiles and looks at me, his smile only growing.

"I am sorry though. I wish this never happened to you, you don't deserve it. And you know if I could, I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. I don't want you to hurt." I let out a chuckle and nodded with watery eyes.

I don't know what I did to deserve Luke. He was an angel. I got up and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go.

"What's going to happen between us?" He asks suddenly and I pull away, only slightly, to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Like I know you said you wanted a break from Michael and Ashton...but what about us?" I furrowed my eyebrows and bit the inside of my cheek.

That was a good question, because I didn't really think of that. I mean I would still like to consider him my boyfriend but at the same time I needed some time from relationships all together.

"I don't know." I whispered. "I'm just so confused and...I just don't know."

He nodded and smiled, stroking my cheek gently. "It's okay. You need some time, I get it." I nodded and he pulled me back into the hug. "I still love you, always will Cally."

I giggled and pulled back, only to lean down and kiss him softly. "And I will always love you."

We both giggled at that and made eye contact before we jumped up and started dancing and singing to 'I will Always Love You'.

All I could think was, this was one of the reasons why Luke was my soulmate.