#9 :: The Contract Killer

15. Courtney

As I stand at my parents graveside and the tears roll down my face I wonder when will it get easier? It's been 16 years now and it still hurts like the day I was in the wardrobe.

No amount of counselling, no amount of meditation, no amount of endurance, no amount of pills, no amount of nothing stops the nightmares I have of reliving my parents death. Feeling like they were killed over and over and over again.

I even wonder if when I kill the Santiagos will I feel any different. It still won't bring my parents back. It still won't make the pain go away. All it will do is avenge them.

It's days like this I remember just how much I hate the world. Alex has been calling and I just wanted to answer and scream and shout and tell him to get lost.

Then he sent a nice message and I remembered it's not his fault. So I turned my phone off. It was best I did that anyway. The last thing I needed was my sister trying to contact me on today of all days with her attitude.

This heavy heart I carry around is due to have my body give way. After spending an hour with my parents I decide to go home and do what I should have done from the get go. Kill.

I've been scoping the house and I'm ready I know my way in and out and I know I can do this.

I look at the wall in the basement. Years of work, years of pictures of every person that belongs to the Mafia. Every person that works for or is connected to the Santiagos. I know so much on them all you would be surprised. I know where every single one of them sleeps. I know about their families. I. Know. Everything.

"Whatever you have planned, it's not going to work." I heard Hugo say.

I ignored him and continued analysing the wall.

"Karmen..."

"Hugo.. I don't want to speak... I don't want to hear it. Just go away."

"I'm not going away..."

"WHY DONT YOU LISTEN?!?!"

"Yeah, that's right. Be mad, shout. Do all of that. That's okay. That's normal. It's expected. Today is a hard day. I get it."

"NO!! That's just it! You don't!! They weren't YOUR parents!! THEY WERE MINE!! YOU never had to watch your father stagger into the room clothes drenched in blood, blood coming from the mouth! Then, to see them men burst in and shoot MY parents dead! YOU DIDN'T GO THROUGH THAT!! I DID!! 16 years, SIXTEEN!! And what can we show for it? That I'm the best there is but what? I'm still not ready? BULLSHIT HUGO!! I'm settling this and I'm settling it tonight!" I said as I went to walk off but Hugo grabbed me.

I went to fight him but Hugo being my trainer he knew every move coming his way. He ended up pinning me against the wall with his arm in my neck.

"Karmen PLEASE! Don't make me do this! Just look at this situation. I know your weakness is your parents. So as much as you're skillfull you're fighting with your heart. Had this been a training day you may have fought me differently and it may be me pinned to the wall. But you're full of emotion and as much as that can work in your favour it can also be your downfall. Just think about it. You dying is not an option. Your parents death would go in vain. Just. Think. Please Karmen." He said as he let me go. I sunk to the floor and cried.

Hugo held me and I cried until I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was 2 in the morning and I was feeling unsettled. I decided to go down in the basement and use the gun range that we had.

It helped but I still needed more.

"Whilst you was asleep I had a look at a potential next move." Hugo said as I stepped out of the range.

"Which is?"

"Well, we aren't killing the Valdez. But we can go for the Diegos. I've been so worried about keeping you out of harms way, but really you've proved yourself. Even when you've wanted to act out. You haven't. Your parents meant the world to me. And like you said it's been sixteen years and what's to show for it? So... the Diegos. They're under the Valdez, and there's a lot of them. They're basically the Pascals & Alfonzos put together. But they have a ritual, and this ritual is going to work in our favour. We have two hours to cause this massacre. You ready?"

"I've been ready."

"Lets go." Hugo said.

Two hours later I was home, showered and in bed. Tonight was crazy. So many killings and they didn't even see it coming. Was a shame I had to kill children. But they couldn't grow up hating, hurting and then trying to find me. Everyone had to die. And that's exactly what happened. No it wasn't bringing my parents back. But it was a start.

Is it bad to say that I slept like a baby? Well it was the truth. Due to my late night. I had a very long lie in. By the time I woke up it was time to get ready to go and meet Alex and his family. This was something I was looking forward to.

I never told Hugo where I was going because he would most probably have a lot to say and I really wasn't interested.

It was an hour drive and by the time I arrived I was starving. Alex came out looking all excited. Just as he came out I had to ask him.

"Alex..."

"Yeah..."

"Do you know who I am?"

"Huh?"

"Do you know who I am?"

"Courtney...?"

"No silly. I'm your woman." I said with a smile.

This man had no clue. At least I knew this was real.

As we entered his house it was uncanny at how this place looked when it wasn't filled with guests.

"Mum, dad, meet Courtney. Courtney, meet my parents... Mr & Mrs Santiago." He said looking so pleased to introduce us.

I smiled. I looked right at his mother who looked like she had just seen a ghost...