That Girl Merliah

01 | Eyes Like Amber

Chapter One | What Binds Us All

"Fear is no real. The only place that fear can exists is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real but fear is a choice. We are all telling ourselves a story and we choose the day that story changes."
- Will Smith

•    •    •

        "Will, stay away from me," I stare up at him with an intense stare.

His round eyes bore holes into mine.

"I'm not leaving you. I need you." His dark voice rung through the cold night air.

"Too bad I don't need you now isn't it?" I bite back.

• • •

TIDES OF sadness came rushing in all at once. I'd never known this kind of pain before. It was in my chest, a burning achy feeling.

The kind you got from a broken heart.

I'd always been one to steer clear of love or anything involved in it. But this kind of love? This kind of love was different. It was a loss I'd never be able to fill the void of.

Dark circles ringed below my eyes. Bags dragging me down. Tiredness from the nightmares that had come the night before made their mark as usual.

My hazel eyes loomed over the mirror a bit longer than I would've liked. My sun kissed skin had small freckles on them but it seemed as though they were slowly disappearing and with them, my sanity.

As a little girl, I'd never worn the black hoodie I did now. I'd never shown an bit of sadness, or at least that was what my mother had told me.

I had no father and now no mother. I wasn't too sure what to do now.

Growing up, I'd been led to believe that anger was never the answer. But when my mother died, anger was the only solution to my troubles. The only source of relief I could find.

Often days, I'd find myself lost in thought.

Today was one of those days.

I wasn't normally one to dwell on the past, but what kid could watch their own mother die and forget it within a months span time?

Lifting a finger, I traced over the creases on my face, from my high cheek bones to my smooth tan chin. As I got lower down towards my neck, I noticed how smoother it had gotten.

Was I meant for much more than this or was I destined to remain focused on my past decisions and there effects?

My phone vibrated in my back pocket.

Be at work at the gym in ten. No excuses. - Jerald

At the gym, I worked as a trainer, training either future boxing pros or boxers who'd failed to succeed in the ring. Most I hadn't shown much seeing as they weren't worth much of my time. Some I'd shown extra things. But I'd never fought. Not since that day.