Desire For Business

duex

I am sitting up in bed watching Parker make peaceful sleeping sounds. He is at such peace, his breath rhythms a mind at ease. I am watching him for five minutes when self pity clouds over me and I get slight anxiety.

  I get up, I can't feel sorry for myself with so much at large today. I drink my coffee in my porch, counting my blessings and trying to convince myself that this is a good thing. My life changed overnight and I am lucky to have had time to adjust. I am staring into the lake and soaking in the sounds of nature. What the birds must do to survive and how us humans so selfishly take notice of their songs not their fight. Their in a life of constant panic. Flight or fight, takes days to make a home and minutes to ruin it. I guess life is not easy for anybody on earth. Life is how we deal with it, what suits our best interest and happiness...not what others expect for us. For now my coffee and the sounds of birds survival is all it takes for me to collect myself and start the day.
  I walk back into my apartment and to my surprise Parker is half dressed in pants and no shirt. Did he leave clothes here? It was not the same as last nights. He is on the phone so I take the opportunity to go pass him quickly and jump into the shower. I am soaping up my body. Skipping the shampoo and conditioner because my blow out is still together and is neatly put in a shower cap. I shave my legs and armpits. I enjoy the smells of my sugar scrub and jump out. Parker is fully dressed and hands me the towel without dropping eye contact. "Parker, do you have a change of clothes here?" He looks down feeling slighly awkward at the question. "Yea, Charis I have two outfits at the bottom drawer of your Amore." I am glad he isnt the curious type otherwise I would have to answer questions I would rather not. "Parker do you remember our conversation last night?" I start to get myself ready avoiding his painfully stunning dark pool of eyes. "Yea, I remember everything and I stopped by to lay next to you...in my defense it felt like a good idea though my judgement was impaired." I am brushing my hair looking at him in the reflection of the mirror. He puts his hands in his pocket and with his head cocked peeking smirks at me. "I woke in the middle of the night and when I returned back to bed...you laid on my chest and put your leg over mine, so yeah..."He says defensively. I didnt remember doing that until he mentioned it.
   I put my brush down and turn around to face him and he walks up to me and removes my hair cap aggressively and puts a handful of hair in a fist to bring me closer to him, leaving inches apart from our lips. I fill the gap and I am eloped in his gentle kisses, their promise of simplicity and comfort that at this moment, I yearned for. My towel is barely hanging on when it starts to slip at my stomach. As he is kissing me he lightly brushes the tips of his thumb and pointer finger at my nipples. I react in a moan. His kisses lead to my neck, my weak spot. I reach to touch his hard on through his pants and rub it assertively in a back and forth motion." He then grabs me onto the counter of the sink and within seconds my towel is on the floor and I feel his dick at my entrance. I try to protest as he smashes his lips to mine. I feel his sweet breath on me and a thrust of him in me I moan in pleasure. He thrusts two more times as he is panting in my ear. His moans and breath has me weak and I can not hold on anymore. I burst out in an orgasm, leaving my legs in after shock of the earthquake, shaking to a slight tremble. He stays in me, not thrusting and whispers in his ragged breath "This is on me, I am sorry but I can pretend for both of us that this was meaningless." He pulls out gently and tugs up his pants and wraps the towel around me. He stops and stares at my guilt ridden face and places his hands on my cheeks and kisses me. Softly, passionately and steps back "Youre going to be late to open the school doors  if you dont get dressed now." I climb off the sink counter in silence. I watch him walk out the bathroom and hear the door shut behind him.

   I go to my closet in shock and remorse. I grab a high waisted pencil skirt and a blazer with a black undershirt and some lacey stockings with some black pumps. I lock up and head to my  car to do my make up. Smokey eye and nude lips with a dark contour. I leave my hair down, brush the "sex hair" out and  head to work.

What a mess I always make for myself. I dont know how to respond but I know I am to blame. Was I falling for Parker? Can you love two people? He didnt even cum, he stopped when I did. What kind of preverse shit am I doing? I cant allow this anymore. Can I? Ugh. Time to focus on the day that lay ahead.

I climb out the car, put out my last cigarette and unlock the building. The place has lacked my essence. There was a lot more papers to organize, the mail wasnt sorted, printers needed ink refills and paper, grades needed to be submitted for atleast 6 classes. I guess I was missed. I then decide to make a list of duties for the days I wont be opening from my now cut hours. It should help Mrs. Florian to be at ease.

I hear the door unlock as I finish the last of the opening duties. I start a coffee for Mrs. Florian and put it next to her desk as she is walking into her office. I am greeted with a big hug."This place missed me, huh?" She laughs "you have no idea, I am just so glad to have you back and better" I smile at her reassuringly and keep her posted on whats lacking and my ordernence I am working on to keep the place running smooth in my absence. "Is there anything particular I can help you with today Mrs. Florian?" She pauses and then speaks "I know it isnt Godly to gossip but Mr. Parker seems to be on a roller coaster of moods, I was hoping you'd know something about that since he visited you frequently during your recovery" I smile at her "rest assured, I think he has caught some feelings for my best friend. They spent a lot of time together watching over me and she is a fierce independent woman." She sighs in relief "good I was afraid it was drugs." I was taken back by that reference but continue to assure her the contrary. I keep a mental note to check for signs, I guess I didnt think the consequences of hanging around Krisia and I.