Desire For Business

You'll arrive to the right of a wrong turn

I sit there wondering what the day will bring, can I do this? Can I truly smile at the asshole that has caused
a world of pain to the man with the blue eyes? The man who gave me hope in a hell of a place? What is Dre's angle anyways?
What does my opinion matter to him? Has he only been surrounded by the weakest of females? I am betting
there is mommy issues for sure. I am sitting in my chair day dreaming of our better times. Kalisto cared for me
and it made him uncomfortable, Parker on the other hand bathes in thoughts of us. I know Kalisto is more of living
in the moment type of person, he is unperdictable and of course he has scars on his heart. From the moment I met
him I saw miles of trouble ahead, I guess I just never expected my feelings to have anything to do with that. He
was not the boy you bring home to your parents, the one who you show off at a dinner party to all your succesful
friends, let alone your coworkers and boss. I just saw something deeper in him, not that the surface wasnt attracting
enough but the code of honor inwhich most would disagree on but I found interesting, sexy and slightly unknown. It
was a cocktail of disaster and yet I am drawn to him like alcoholic on free drinks night. I guess if I thought realistically
I would be thinking more along the lines of Parker. He was the one you could show off to family, pretend friends and
bring to Christmas work parties. He would probably already be there though because we worked together. I never gave
much thought to how to handle this with Mrs. Florian, I mean how would that conversation even go? "Yeah he took
care of me when I couldnt take care of myself, I used his comfort and chest at my disposal and the reason he has
been so irradic is not because of my best friend but because I am a cruel, selfish bitch." It was the truth but
after this morning I am not sure if it is the whole truth. Am I feeling more for him than just the need of his
comfort? Or was his comfort becoming more dependent than I would like to admit? Who am I kidding? There is a love, lust
and a subconcience secruity to Parker. It was not fair no matter how mch he says that it is on him. I am the culprit of his dismay that will soon come. We have been playing a version of cat-mouse before the accident. I take a deep breath and look at the time.

I have been so caught up in my thoughts surprisingly my work has systematically been done. I submitted the grades,
I finished the report of duties to be done in my absence, I submitted the clock in sheets to our accountant and I
wasnt even thoroughly thinking about it. I can only hope that my work later will be as second nature. I know better
though, it will be grueling and make me second guess my standards and my morals. I glance at the clock. It is lunch
time in a few minutes. I hear the students gathering their books together and fumbling with their stuff to get to
lunch. A few students stop in to make payments for their classes and I submit them and return them with a reciept.
I go to check in on Mrs. Florian, I walk into her office after a knock. "Would you like for me to get you something
to eat?" she shifts her eyes from her computer and glances at me "My stomach has been on edge, I think I would like
some hot chicken soup, would that be a problem for you?" she asks so considerately as if I did not offer. "Do you
have a certain place in mind or is the place up the street fine for you?" She nods her her head with her hands
folded under her chin and a sypathetic smile. "Charis, I would like you to know that I really apperciate everything you
do for us here, its more than just a paycheck and I have become so relient on you that I did not take the time to
show my apperciation as I should have." I see her eye moisten up and I instantly run to her to embrace her
"I care about you, and I believe in your purpose. You're an inspiration to all women. I mean look at you! Running a
college and working on your doctorate, plus you have a home life which you give you best at" she hugs me harder.
"I know you asked for more time off and I dont mind giving it to you but I just want you to know, if there is
anything I can help you with or you need to talk to...I am here, not just as your boss" I feel her words settle in me
and for some reason I just want to fall into her shoulder and cry at the mess I have caused myself but I dont...
I can't." I remove myself from her and stand up straight in which she looks for a response "Mrs. Florian, I am fine I
I just have other interests that may be my calling and I do not want to pass up the oppourtunity" she seems pleased
but not entirely convinced and nods her head. "Okay Charis, we will be just fine." I smile at her "Of course you
will I left an interiary for whoever is going to be doing my duties on the days I am absent." She laughs her chime bells
"I will bring you some hot soup and some meds to soothe your stomach" she smiles at me "Thanks hun"

I exit her office and during passing I see Parker before he sees me. Should I hide? Is this a walk of shame? I did
not even see him come in to work this morning. As I am thinking and walking, he catches my eyes and doesnt lose con
tact and makes the cutest side smirk inwhich I bashly giggle and look down while walking. "Going somehwere for
lunch?" and I turn to face him feeling a bit more at ease with his demeanor "Actually yeah I was going to hit
up country cooking for some chicken noodle soup for Mrs. Florian." He puts the coat that is in his hands onto his
shoulders and wiggles it on "Dont mind if I come right?" and before I can think to answer appropiately I am walking in unison with him
out of the building. "I will drive." I do not protest. I do not want anyone to recognize my car with this handsome
passanger. Thats not the talk I want whispering. We arrive at the resturant without talking during the short ride, just him grabbing onto my hand with
his right hand and left
on the wheel. I do not protest. He was a warm fire in a blizard. We walk in and I order Mrs. Florians soup and
sure to add emphasis on the "hot" soup. Parker order two pot-pies and demands them to be on one check. I roll my
eyes. He is a gentleman and a brown nose to anyone he wants in good standing with him. "Here eat in the car, you
have not ate much for days and youre losing a noticable amount of weight"I reluctantly go into one of the brown
paper bags and pull out a pot-pie. "when are you going to eat?" I ask feeling guilty at eating alone. He then chuckles and I sence an egotistical remark
coming. "I am in a grading period after lunch, I set that up on purpose so I dont have to rush lunch" I cant help
but giggle at his good time management. He was always really good at finding loop holes to benefit himself. I dig
into the pot-pie and it taste really good. So much flavor for an American dish. If I had an Amercian grandmother
it would be something I assume would taste similar to her cooking. It taste wonderful and I realize my hunger
has got the best of me. I guess with my mind so pre-occupied, food was not something I wasted a lot of time
thinking about. Honestly, I should have though because it probably does not help with my moods or headaches.
I look myself over and I managed not to make a mess of myself and in the short drive, and finishing the entire contents
of the dish, probably in resemblance of a starved animal. All that was left was the metal tin. I look over to a laughing Parker. "That stomach of yours knows
better than to growl at the hand that feeds. I keep that monster at bay" we both laugh at his absurd joke. Though
honestly I have been living off of meds, milk, juice and cigarettes until he comes around. He is always assuring
that I am well fed. We stop at a drug store to grab some meds to soothes Mrs.Florian's stomach. We then return back to the college and I notice a couple of students outside the building. They were
whispering and looking us up and down. Uh oh. This is going to go back to Mrs. Florian and I dont want her to feel=
I have been hiding something from her. Urgh my conscience is probably over-reacting and though our students are
mostly mid-30 adults, they love gossip. I walk pass like nothing ever happened. I enter the building and give
Mrs. Florian her soup and then meds. "Here, Parker told me the food was amazing and from my expirence from the drive back I have
to agree." She looks happy and accepts the soup. "Oh and Parker bought us both lunch so I will leave you the card in
the front desk in the envelope" she opens the soup and to both of our amazements its fairly large and steaming.
"Oh mmm this will help settle my stomach. Hey youre leaving at 2pm correct?" I nod my head in agreement.

I walk back to my desk and put everything, in order. Grades and conferences, set up new student meetings with
the education conselour. I make some minor adjustments on some resumes the students wanted me to look overwere made. The school educates them to be more qualified than most other schools which are just worried about how much money they can weasel it out of them. I guess
that is why I have grown such a liking to Mrs. Florian. Her spirit and love of God aids in her being such a generous person. She ensures the knowledge she teaches will be beneficial not just bare minimum.
I just hope that my new boss that I will be meeting at a car-lot in less than two hours will have the same aspirations, if not then atleast, his work ethic. I know this adjustment is mostly my over-thinking and he has come to surprise me many of times
in over ourbshort meeting. However, he is still a monster.