You're the Light That Guides Me Out (Scallison)

Don't Leave

"You haven't been answering my texts or my calls," he says. "I've been so worried about you." He steps into the house and kisses me.

I pull away and I see Scott with a hurt expression.

"Scott."

He stands and shakes his head. "No, it's fine. I get it. You two have history. I'll leave you guys to talk."

"No. Scott, don't leave."

"I'll see you at school."

I go to run outside after him but Cole takes my hands. "When I found out that I was moving to your new town, I was so thankful for the second chance. Chrissy was a mistake. I was selfish and I was a complete jerk. I know I don't deserve it, but give me ten minutes to explain what I was feeling during that time. Your life wasn't the only one flipped upside-down."

I turn to my dad and he gestures behind him. "I'll be in the kitchen."

"Dad, I need my keys." I need to go after Scott.

"What for sweetheart? Aren't you and Cole gonna talk?"

"Ten minutes Allison," Cole says. "That's all I'm asking for."

I sigh. "Fine. Ten minutes."

He kisses my cheek. "Thank you. Thank you."

/

"Mark and I got into a fight. It was over my mom and you. He said that my mom used to date his dad in high school and that high school relationships weren't forever. That you'd leave me sooner or later and then I'd just be a story that you'd tell your kids to show them how much more you love their father. And then your parents declared their divorce and you started to distance yourself from me." He strokes my hand. "Then that distance got larger after your Aunt Kate passed. I started to believe in what Mark was saying. Then Chrissy came to work on our project and I couldn't handle it anymore so I numbed the pain by sleeping with her. When you walked in, everything came back to light. I'm not supposed to just give up, I'm supposed to get rid of the distance but instead I made it worse."

He had tears in his eyes and his other hand cups my cheek.

"When I found out you tried to overdose, I threw up. I'm the reason you felt like death was the only way out. I was a shit boyfriend because instead of giving you my shoulder, I turned my back on you. I've never been so ashamed of my actions."

I shake my head. "That doesn't change anything. You still did it. We were gonna be each other's first."

"I know. But isn't it punishment enough that I have to say that Chrissy was my first?" He strokes my cheek. "I can still be your first. I'll have to rebuild your trust and be worthy, but I can still be your first."

"You hurt me so much."

He leans forward. "I can make it better."

"I need time to think. I'm not the same person that I used to be."

"I get that. I just hope the new you can find it in their heart to give me another chance." He kisses me quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

/

I went to school early. I was leaning against Scott's locker, waiting for him to show up. The hallway was so quiet and I didn't even know what I was gonna say to him. Do I want to give Cole another chance? Do I want to see how things go with Scott? What if I choose Scott and it turns out that Cole was the one for me? What if I choose Cole and Scott's the one for me? I didn't know what to do. My mind was a jumble of thoughts. I needed Scott to clear it. I needed him to make everything better.