Mosaic

Louis Tomlinson, Chapter 11

Louis Tomlinson, Chapter 11

     You're getting fatter, Louis. I hear a voice whisper in my ear, you're obese. I had the bathroom door closed with the shower water running; I was standing in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I've been avoiding myself for a while, but I just happen to have a glance before I was getting in the shower; that was one of my first mistakes of trying to recover. You don't deserve Harry or the boys, they're too good for you. I grabbed the bundle of fat on my stomach, pinching myself harder and harder as my head began to pound. You're nothing. You're worthless. I flicked my thighs, watching the fat jiggle, I pinched my skin making bruises appear on my tan skin. You're always going to be fat, you know what'll make you feel better? The voice, Skinny, asked. I was desperate, I whispered, "Anything." Purge. Stick your fat fingers in your mouth and make yourself gag, gag until you heave. And with that, I obeyed her suggestion.

     I sunk down to the porcelain bowl, lifted the lid up and stuck my finger in my mouth, and tickled my throat. I gagged, I repeated the first action and then I puked out my guts. I stuck my fingers down my throat until I had nothing left, but then I froze when I heard a knocking on the door. "Lou?" Harry. I couldn't speak because if I did, my voice would sound raspy and then he'd know. "Louis, are you okay in there?" He called from the door again. Still, I did not answer him. I heard him grab the handle and I wanted to scream that I was okay, but something held me back. I couldn't say a thing.

     Harry opened the door and he trotted over to me, "Are you ok-," He started to say, but then noticed my dinner in the toilet bowl. "Oh, Louis." He says wrapping his arms around me. "Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" He hates you, Louis. I said nothing, but as he tried to pick me up a shuffled away. "I can walk." "Lou, you're not fat," he says. I shook my head, "No, Harry, I am." He sighs, "Louis, you're flawless." 

     He stopped the warm shower water and started to run a bath. I was in the tub as the water gushed out, Harry gathered up some bath salts and some bubble baths. I leaned my head down on my knees as my arms were wrapped around my knees, "You're beautiful, Louis." "I am not, Harry," I say raising my head. Harry moved the hair from my face and said, "But you are, to me." 

     Harry then climbed into the bath with me and began to wash my body for me; nothing was sexual, everything was just love. He wasn't doing this for sex, no, he was doing this for no reason at all. I don't deserve him. He scrubbed my arms, legs, and back. He then asked me to lean my head back so he could wash my hair, he squirted the shampoo in his hands and lathered up my hair. He then washed the suds away as I scrubbed his back and then washed his hair.

     We got out of the wash and dried off, we slipped on some clothes (a simple tee-shirt and some sweats), and then I gave Harry a hug. "What was that for?" He asked. "You are too good for me, you know that?" I say. "You must be mistaken with yourself, you're gorgeous, you're flawless, you're perfect. Though you may disagree, I love everything about you. My favorite eye color is yours, my favorite height is yours, my favorite arms are yours, and Louis, guess what?" I looked up at him, "My favorite person besides my mum is you." I looked at Harry, "I don't deserve you, Haz, I'm am literally dreading the day you finally see how much of a waste I am, and when that day comes, I will not be surprised. You'll hate me just like everyone else. You deserve someone who makes you happy, someone who will not complicate your life, someone who will never hurt you." "Louis you are not a waste. I could never hate you, why? Because I could never hate someone as beautiful as you. Louis, you make me happy. You don't see this, but you're my definition of radiant. You're gorgeous, you light up the room with your eyes, with your smile. You're beautiful. Louis, you make my life exciting, you give me love and happiness. You've never hurt me, babe. You pick me up when I fall down and I love you for it. I love you so much, you complete me. You're my sun, my stars, my moon, my galaxy, you are my everything. If you think I'm lying, well babe, I don't know what to tell you because I don't understand how you cannot see how gorgeous you are." he rants. "I-" I try, but instead I get on my tip-toes and kiss him. This wasn't a kiss full of lust, it was filled with passion and love, it was slow and not at all rushed. "I love you," I whisper against his lips. He smirks and whispers, "I love you too." Then he goes for another kiss making this one rushed but still filled with love and passion.

     The kiss was getting more heated as Harry lifted me up and led me to the bed, he laid me down gently and started to tease me. He kissed down my neck and then lifted off my shirt. It's a shame that we had just took bath and got into these clothes, but it didn't matter, I wanted Harry to make love to me. Usually, it was me making love to him, but I wanted him tonight, I wanted him to make love to me. "You're beautiful, Louis." He says in a slightly raspy voice as he takes off my pants. I help him with his shirt and pants, so we were both in our underwear. He slipped his hand into my boxers and started to rub my cock slightly. My hips jerked wanting to feel more friction, but instead, he pushed my hips down and said in a low voice, "Let me make love to you." I nodded and let him take full control. He slipped me out of my underwear off and said, "Hand and knees, babe." I obeyed and got into position. He grabbed the lube and then adjusted my hips for easier access. He thrust slowly for me to get adjusted then went faster as time went on. "You're doing great, babe," he tells me as he jerked me off. "Harry, I'm-" I came onto his hand, and shortly after he reached his climax. He pulled himself out and cleaned us both off,

     "I love you so much, Louis," he whispers and kissed my forehead. "I love you too, Harry. You're my everything and honestly, without you, my life would be meaningless." He wrapped his arm around my waist and then whispered, "Goodnight, lovely."