Mosaic

Harry Styles, Chapter 16

Harry Styles, Chapter 16

       Something happened today that I wasn't expecting; I didn't think something like this would happen to my Louis. Louis Tomlinson was found dead, my boyfriend was found dead. His death was not an accident, he did this himself. Louis overdosed on dieting pills, his eating disorder took over the poor boy's mind and led him to murder the most lovely person, himself. It should have been me.

       "My name is Harry Styles, I am Louis Tomlinson's first and last boyfriend. Louis was the best thing I could have ever had in my life. I love him, and even though he's gone he shall forever be my number one," I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I believe Louis knows that I was in love with him, and I believe he was in love with me, but I also believe sometimes the self-hatred for yourself is a lot stronger than the love you have for another. I am the luckiest person to have got the chance to love this beautiful man and for that, I am the most grateful."

       "Louis will not be forgotten, Louis will be remembered. Louis will be remembered for his breathtaking eyes and that oh so lovely smile, he will be remembered for his heart of gold and that laugh was a melody in my ears. Louis is my light, my star, my Sun. Louis said he'd never leave me alone, I believe his oath. Louis will always be here, where ever he went he left a piece of himself. Everyone will remember the boy with the blue-grey eyes and that beautiful smile," I put my sleeves to my eyes and continued, "He's so beautiful, the whole world couldn't get tired of looking at him. I'm sorry that I can't say any more about this man, there are only twenty-six letters in the alphabet and I can't come up with a good description of his beauty because words cannot describe how wonderful Louis was to everyone. There's one thing I can tell you though, it's that no matter what, if you were in the same room as him, you could see the light radiating off of him. I love him and I will love him until I die myself, thank you." 

       There's one thing I saw when I looked up from the stand and that thing was a room that loved Louis just as much as I did. I wish he could be here and see how many people cared, I wish he could have been happy with his time on Earth. I realized something right then, you cannot avoid death. There's only one thing in life that is guaranteed and that my friend is the beautiful thing called death. Death comes to all, young and old, skinny and fat, stable and unstable, black and white, and that's why it's beautiful. Death is beautiful because it doesn't skip anyone no matter what; it will wrap its dark hands around your throat or take you down by your feet, you're never safe in this world, you're dying every day. Louis has already met his fate, he's one of the lucky ones. Everyone who knew him will miss him, but that's okay because we'll all meet again someday. I'm going to meet him again, today.

       After the funeral I ran away from everything, I ran for as long as my legs could take me before I fell down. Louis, why did you have to go, babe? It should have been me. I know it's sick, but I'm jealous of Louis. Louis didn't deserve to die, I did. It's selfish really; all my life I wanted to die, Louis didn't want to die, he wanted to be skinny. I'm getting my wish, I am dying today whether the universe likes it or not.

       I glanced around at my surroundings, I was in the woods. I sighed and began walking to who knows where. It was a short distance until I heard the roaring of a car engine coming from behind me, I turned to look and I was caught in the headlights of a truck. The next thing I knew I was on the ground, my body waist down was numb, I tried to scream out for help, but instead, blood came up and I started to choke. I realized at that moment I was dying, panic rang throughout my entire body and tears ran down my face. I don't want to die anymore, but it seems like I've reached my fate and I'm now getting my wish. I wanted to die and God said, "So be it."