Mosaic

Louis Tomlinson, Chapter 9

Louis Tomlinson, Chapter 9

     I woke up with anxiety running through my veins, one question repeated in my mind: Was Harry going to make me eat a whole meal? If Harry does then, I'm done. I can't and I won't, he can't make me either. No one, not even Haz can make me eat. I laid in our bed for the longest time staring at the white ceiling before I decided to suck it up. 

     I walked hesitantly down to the kitchen and I saw Harry eating cereal, I was actually confused because he'd usually had cooked and not just poured himself a bowl of cereal. "What's for breakfast?" He looked up and chewed his cereal before speaking, "Since I know you don't want to eat like a whole bunch then I figured you'd like to pick out your own food, but Lou, please eat a little bit of something?" I looked at him, he was sincere and I was happy that he's not going to be forcing food down my throat. I nodded my head then replied, "But you have to do something too," he nodded, "you have to try to stop harming yourself." He just smiled and said, "Already on it." I smiled back and grabbed a granola bar and some low-fat yogurt.

    I sat at the table and opened my yogurt then my granola bar, I tore the granola bar into five small pieces then dropped them into the vanilla yogurt. I grabbed a spoon then started to eat, I twirled the spoon around to avoid eating. I had to try, for Harry, so I finally got a piece of the granola bar and it had a little yogurt on it then I stuck it in my mouth. I chewed for the longest time and Harry was almost finished with his cereal, I swallowed. I avoided eating again then picked up another piece of the bar, I chewed slowly then swallowed. The process continued until all that was left was yogurt, I got up from my chair and threw the rest away.

     "Lou, are you going to school today, babe?" I nod, but the thing is, I'm afraid to go back. I walked to our room and I take off my clothing then replaced them with a sweater and some jeans. I walked into the bathroom and brushed my hair, then put it into a fluffy fringe. I tried to avoid the mirror as I brushed my teeth then I was about to step onto the scale, but Harry came in. "Babe, you're not allowed to see your weight, I want you to get better." I glared at him, "Harry, just let me check my weight." "No." He said as he picked up the scale and walked out. "Harry you can't do this," I screamed after him, he turned around and grabbed my arms. "I love you too much to let you do this, Lou. I just want you to get better, I know it'll be hard, but can you try?" "You don't see me taking your razors, do you? No, you don't and it's not because I don't care, it's because I don't want you taking my things, so I don't do it to you." I snap, tearing my arms back from his grip. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Take them then, I don't care. I just don't want you to be doing this to yourself." I looked down with my eyes closed then I nodded, "Give them to me." He walked and grabbed a small box, I opened it and I saw blades covered with blood; Harry's blood. I walked into the bathroom and threw them all into the toilet, then I flushed them. I put the box that was filled with blades on the sink then walked out. "Satisfied?" Harry asked. I glared at him and mumbled, "Let's go." 

     Harry and I decided to walk to school today, we held hands and got nasty looks from people, but it didn't matter; we had each other. "Bye, babe." Harry says when we got in front of my class, I nodded and hugged him, "Bye." He smiled and we let go of each other then went our separate ways. I walked the halls of the building and got into the classroom. Almost everyone was already there and Aubrey came by to my desk, "Glad to have you back." I smiled and nodded. "Louis, we're doing the animal thing today, did you do enough research on your animal?" she asked. Crap, I knew I was forgetting something, but I can be an elephant, that's easy. "I think I'll be fine." She nods. I started to think about that movie my mum would take me to in the museum when I was younger: it was about a momma elephant and her child getting separated and then a year later she found her baby's bones, but she sadly went on a rampage; using her weight to knock over what was in the way. I can be that momma elephant, I can be that momma elephant; I repeated in my mind.

     "Okay now that everyone's here, we can get started on our animals." Aubrey began, "The point of this is to not use noises and you can't tell us your animal." She then continued as she scanned over the class, "Who would like to go first?" Hands shot up as mine stayed down. "Maurice." Maurice went first, but I didn't know what she was trying to be though. "Maurice, please tell us what you were." "I was a monkey," she replies. "Okay, who could tell what she was?" Most of the class raised their hands while mine stayed down. Aubrey nodded as she sent Maurice to sit down. Everyone had gone except for me, so I walked to the front on center stage. "Go ahead, Lou." 

     I took a deep breath and I put my head down and started to shake it a bit while stomping my feet, just like the momma elephant. I then began to charge, I knew I probably looked like an idiot, but I didn't care. I then heard clapping from Aubrey, "Good job, Lou. You may now sit down." I was confused, she didn't ask me what my animal was, could she tell? "Now I wonder if anyone noticed that I didn't ask Louis what his animal was," she said, "I didn't ask because I could tell he was an elephant, an angry and upset elephant." That's when she directed me, "Louis, what did you use for your research?" I looked down and replied, "I didn't do any research really, I was just remembering a movie from when I was younger about an upset elephant because her baby had gotten killed. I just became that momma elephant really." She smiled. "At least someone knew how to do this assignment correctly."

     I walked out of the school building and Harry was there waiting for me, Niall was sick today and Zayn went to go check on him while Liam didn't want to be the third wheel. We walked down the pavement and then Harry asked, "What do you want for dinner?" "Can I have a salad without dressing?" He nodded, "Anything you want." I smiled and locked out hands together. "Harry?" I say, "Yeah?" "I love you." He smiles and looks at me, "I love you too."

     I ate my salad while Harry ate a personal pizza; It's just not fair, God made some people naturally skinny and some people naturally fat. I'd never know how my life would have been different if I'd been one of the ones he made skinny; I don't know how he chose. This one will be beautiful and skinny with a small waist and great skin while this one will be short and fat and legs that rub together as they walk. Why couldn't I be one of the lucky ones?