ONE SHOTS [CLOSED FOR NOW]

Teach Me To Forgive - Austin Carlile

IN THIS ONESHOT, AUSTIN IS 21 YEARS OLD. OKAY? OKAY.

The clouds look nice today. But I guess they always look nice. Maybe I'll skip last period today to go cloud watching on the roof. Hopefully Jeremy won't be home. Why do I have to live there again? Oh yeah. Mom's too messed up to take care of her own kid. Jesus, come to think go it, I learned how to hold my liquor before I could multiply. But why did I have to live in a foster home? Oh yeah. That's another thing that pissed me off. That stupid ABC Family show Fosters, what a stupid lie about foster homes.

Jeremy wouldn't mind it if I'm on the roof though. He'll only tell Karen, and she'll smother me to shits.

Ugh. I just want to look at the clouds. Do you think the birds'll get lost in a cloud? Are they fluffy like in Jack And The Beanstalk? Are there giants up there? Maybe I'll find out one day. Maybe they'll take mercy on me when they realize I want to die anyway.

Damn. My wrist itches. Maybe I could scratch it-no. No, Caroline. That'll only draw attention to your secret. Hah. Secret. As if. The whole school knows. You're emo. Disgusting. Sad-shit. Don't cry. Clouds. Think of the clouds.

My, the clouds look nice today. But I guess they always look nice. Maybe I'll skip last period today to go cloud watching. Hopefully Jeremy won't be-

"Caroline, am I boring you?" asked the scratchy voice of my Biology teacher, Mr. Carlile. I felt the tips of my ears redden and my face heated up. "Caroline?"

"Uh-no. Sorry." I mumbled as giggles hinted around the room.

"Don't worry about her, Mr. Carlile," winked Emily, my latest offender. "She's always too high o even do anything in this class." she smirked. "Ya know, with her mommy's problem and all, wouldn't surprise me if she was the same way."

I sucked in a deep breath. Maybe if I played it off as a joke, she'd leave me alone.

"Funny, Em. I know my mom's a crack whore."

"Caroline Fletcher!" Mr. Carlile scolded. My eyebrows rose and I opened my arms in an act of disbelief.

"What? I get in trouble for stating the facts?" I snapped. "This is Biology after all!"

"Right. Like the fact that Caroline's a bitch."

Emily's words shouldn't affect me. And they shouldn't be that big of a deal to me, but my teary eyes glared at the desk in defeat.

I didn't know if I was expecting Mr. Carlile to defend me, but when he didn't that hurt even more.

His tattooed hand fell on my arm and dragged down a bit, pulling at the rubber and hemp bracelets to bring them down my skin. My mutilated skin. Fuck.

I glanced up with wide eyes and he gave me a knowing look.

The bell ran signaling that the end of the class, leaving the students in my class to skitter to their last period class. I stood from my desk and grabbed my bag from the floor, stuffing notebooks into the black Jansport.

"Caroline, I'd like you to stay after school today." Mr. Carlile said slowly, almost cautious. "Please."

"Why? Am I in trouble?" I said sourly. "Because last time I checked, bullying was illegal. Not something teachers just brush off."

"You're not in trouble." He sighed. "Just, uh, I think we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." I growled. "I have to go to Trig-"

"You're a sophomore and you're in Trig?" Mr. Carlile asked, his eyes wide. "Wow. That's a really tough class!"

"Not really." I said sassily. "'scuze me." I tried to walk past him.