unedited▷▷
"I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know, 'cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go, I knew I needed you but I never showed, but I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old,"
-Say You Won't Let Go, James Arthur
Jackson Merrick
(y'all, didn't expect that, did you? 😉)
The day she walked away from my life was the most painful day of my life. I felt as if a huge part of me was slowly being ripped away from me, slow enough to ensure that I was experiencing excruciating pain. The tears running down her cheeks were painful enough to watch, knowing that I caused them was even more painful to sink in. I thought about chasing her that day, but a voice in my head stops me.
Stop, you'd do more damage if you chase after her.
So I did. I let myself go through the pain of watching her walk away. The hallway that day was silent, no one dared make a sound, they were all left speechless, while I was left with a broken heart. I let her move on from an asshole of a best friend like me, I let her forget everything and I let myself become fine with the thought that she was slowly becoming okay.
But then, I discovered that I had Leukemia. I knew from that moment that I had to have her back in my life, even just for a while, that would be my final wish- to spend the final days of my life, with her and I wouldn't die, without her forgiveness and friendship. I want to die, knowing that she is okay, I want to die knowing that our friendship will never fade, I want to die knowing that she is with someone who makes her happy, even though that person isn't me.
As I lay on the hospital bed, a smile crept on my face at the thought of her. How her eyes almost seem to disappear as she laughs, or the way small dimples form whenever she smiles, the way her eyes seem to glisten whenever she talks about the things she loves. The simple things that she does make me fall in love with her more and more each day, yet the saddest thing is, I know that I don't have a chance.
So why do I keep on holding on, despite not having a single chance?
As stupid as it may sound, the answer is simple, because there's this small part of me that still believes that I do have a chance,that there is a small glimmer of hope, and as small as it may be, and as non-existent as it may be, I'm still holding on to the small, glimmer of hope, because as painful as it is, you don't give up on people you love.
There are plenty of girls who would love to even just be a few meters away, girls who would dive at the thought to be with me, girls whom I can have, but we fall for the ones that we can't have, don't we?
Our friendship started out when we were in kindergarten...
"Hey! I'm Bwee-anna Ju-wiyet Coopow" A girl in a cute, blue, frilly dress says to me.
"Hi, I'm Jackson Mewwick" I said back, placing my ball down on the sand as I stuck my hand out- which she takes and shakes.
"Well, Jackthon, can I bowwow yow ball?" She asks with big, pleading, wide eyes.
"It's Jack-S-on" I correct her, emphasizing the S.
"Jackthon, Jackth- Jacktho- I can't do it," She puffs and crosses her arms in a cute way.
"Why can't you say the lettew S?"
"I have a lithp, my eth becometh eth" She sighs and I laugh at how cute it was.
"Do you wanna play?" I ask her, grinning ear to ear.
"Well I wouldn't bowwow the ball if I didn't want to pway"
From that moment on, I knew we were going to be friends, but I never realized that she would mean so much more.
I smiled sadly to myself as I reminisced the different memories I made with Bryanna. It's difficult to look back, specially when I know that I won't be able to go any further because my journey's about to end.
I let out a deep sigh, and reached for my phone, and typed in Leo's number, that I got from Bryanna's phone.
To: Leo
Hi Leo, it's Jackson, can you please meet with me?
From: Leo
How did you get my number?
To: Leo
I got it from Bryanna's phone, I'm so sorry but I really need to meet with you in person.
From: Leo
Fine. Where?
To: Leo
St. Mary's hospital, room 44C
From: Leo
ayt, make sure there's food bro.
To: Bree 💖👑
Hey, Bree take a rest for a while and sleep, okay? I don't think it was possible that you slept well throughout the whole night on that couch xx
A smiled crept on my face as I sent the text. I honestly don't know, it's just something about Bryanna that makes me smile whenever I think of her. After a few minutes, I was up waiting for a reply, yet none came. I placed my phone back on the drawer and closed my eyes.
A couple of minutes later, I woke up to someone knocking on my door.
"Uh hey?"
Sitting up, I looked up to see Leo awkwardly standing by the door, as if he doesn't know what to do.
"I wasn't expecting that Bryanna would be on the hospital bed and not you, then again if it was Bryanna, Bryan would go batshit crazy," Leo says and I nod in agreement. If anything happens to Bryanna, Bryan would go insane.
"Anyway I actually wanted to talk you because you're probably the only one who wouldn't beat me up... I can't exactly tell Jason or Luke this because they like Bryanna, and the others would just kill me," I started babbling and Leo nods in agreement as he sat on the chair beside the bed.
I started telling him everything that I told Bryanna and he just sat there listening to every word I said, taking every single word in.
"Okay, so um I really don't want to be rude but why are you telling me all this?" Leo asks, confused.
"Well, I know that I wouldn't live as long as I want to and be there for Bryanna, and I want to die knowing that someone other than Bryan would be there for her whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on. Please promise me that you'll be there for her no matter what happens, and please don't break her heart and don't let anyone break her heart in any way, she's too precious to have broken heart. She's strong, but I can't have her hurt again," I explain to him, my heart breaking at the thought of Bryanna crying due to a broken heart.
"Break her heart? Look, Jackson, I don't like Bryanna in that way, besides, Jason and Luke are already fighting and I have no intention of adding to that,"
"Friends can break your heart as well," I say as I sadly smiled, remembering what I did.
From: Dad
I heard that you were hospitalized and I already asked one of my people to pay for the hospital bill
To: Dad
Where did you get the money?
From: Dad
A friend of mine gave me more than enough money
YOU ARE READING
The Girl Who Plays Football { #Wattys2016 }
Teen FictionAt age 10, Bryanna was separated from her brother, Bryan- due to the fact that their parents divorced. Sophomore year came, and she is to transfer to her brother's school, without knowing the reason why. Little did she know, that was the start of a...
