Concrete Delusion

To Be or Not To Be?

"Not to be." I decided, so I spoke up without hesitation. My professor raised an eyebrow. "Though it may not be 'nobler in the mind' to end it all than to suffer, we come to see in the end that Hamlet's concern for nobility, in the moral sense of the word, has decayed. Would it be nobler to selfishly die then, and let Denmark withstand its weakness at the loss of one prince, than to live in such misery that a more selfish seeking for revenge results in a royal massacre, leaving Denmark permanently week and scarred? I think so."

"Are you suggesting Hamlet is at fault for the tragedy, Miss Fitzgerald?"

"I'm suggesting that if Hamlet had given into his longing for death at the time of the soliloquy in Act 3, Scene 1, then Denmark may have ended up in a better state. Even ruled by a king of poor character, the country would have been in better shape. It wouldn't be the first time a great country was led by a malicious leader, adn it certainly wouldn't be the last. I'm just saying, in this particular case, suicide would have actually been the less tragic option."

Someone across the room raised her arm, and the professer nodded in that direction. "So Sage, you actually think suicide is ever a plausible and acceptable option?" The girl was angry, and I could see why she would be.

I sighed, "I'm not actually suggesting anyone should ever commit suicide, Emma, I'm just talking about relativity here."

Emma huffed, obviously not understanding concepts I had put in front of her, and obviously taking fiction too seriously. She glared at me, and then looked at the professor as if she were questioning my permission to voice that opinion.

"Be all my sins remember'd." I muttered. Professor Kingsley chuckled along with a few other students, and I knew most of the rest of the class rolled their eyes. I didn't care. I don't talk to any of them anyways; I'm ruer none of them read the act.

An annoying dismissal bell set off a frenzy of zipping and packing. "I look forward to reading your paper, Miss Fitzgerald." The professor said as he packed up.

At my locker, I realized that I had left my current novel on my bedside table at home, so I had low expectations for lunch period. Not having any reason to go to the cafeteria and condemn myself to eating whatever sludge they decided to grace us with, I walked aimlessly through the halls. When I stumbled upon an empty computer lab, I decided I would go ahead and get a head start on my essay -- that way, instead of doing it at home, I could make up for the lost reading time in having one less thing to worry about tonight.

The quiet in the lab was bliss. I didn't often get to experience the quiet at all. When I was at school, the beasts we call students roared and carried on. When I was at home, my near-deaf grandmother's tv was turned up so loudly that though I had never actually watched Gilmore Girls, I knew everything there was to know about Loralie and Rory, and was sure I could recite multiple reruns astoundingly accurately.

I took advantage of the opportunity, closing my eyes for a few moments and let my thoughts run wild. I decided to write my essay on exactly what we'd been discussing in class. I had a substantial first draft by the bell.