I woke up early. I'm a nervous wreck. I start a pot of coffee, compulsively clean my house and stare at the clock.
"A watched pot never boils" I tell myself aloud when I catch myself looking at the clock again and the hands have barely moved.
Karen flounces downstairs quite cheerfully and I smile at her. "Morning, Stevie!" She says.
"Good morning! You're in a good mood"
"I am"
"Care to tell me why?"
"You're going to talk to Lindsey and I have a very good feeling about it"
"I hope you're right" I tell her.
"You're nervous, aren't you?"
"As hell" I confess. "I am so scared he won't give me a chance even though I know I don't deserve it..."
"You do. You gave Lindsey a chance, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but he didn't cheat on me"
"Yes he did. You were married and he was sleeping with Kristen"
"We were separated and on the verge of divorce"
"You forgive too easily, Stevie. I just hope he gives you the benefit of the doubt like you always give him" Karen says.
"What do you think about all of this?"
"You don't want to know"
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know"
"I think you're both idiots" she says and I'm so caught off guard that I burst out laughing.
"Alright, alright...I guess I didn't want to know"
"Told you." She pours herself a cup of coffee from the fresh pot and sits at the counter.
"But seriously..."
"I meant what I said. You wait years and years to be together and instead of forgiving each other or breaking up for good when one of you messes up, you go back and forth for months just to sweep it all under the rug. It's the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed. My thoughts are if he really can't forgive you, you can't blame him. Break up and try to be peaceful for your children. Yes, I know you're in love and so is he. I can see it written all over your faces. It's disgusting." She says, mimicking sticking a finger down her throat. "Be mature about this. If you both want to make this work, you have to stick it out. For better or for worse, remember? Stop being babies when there are real babies involved"
"Are you done?" I ask and she laughs. "That was a pretty good rant, Karen"
"Thanks, I learned from the best" She gives me a look and I laugh with her.
"I'm grateful you put up with me. I know I'm not easy"
"You're right, you're not but I know that you're always worth it. And I think today, Lindsey will see that."
"I really do hope you're right"
She looks at the clock. "I think you'd better get ready. You said one, right?"
"Yep. Thanks for everything, Karen"
"You're welcome" I squeeze her shoulder lovingly and head upstairs. I pick out my outfit, shower, do my hair and makeup and try to be as quick as possible. The door bell rings and I'm sure Karen will answer it. I spray on Lindsey's favorite perfume and descend the stairs, checking my appearance in the long foyer mirror for a split second. I see him and smile instantly. I'm so in love with him and even though I should be scared still, it all melts away. He has always been my safe place.
