I dress casually to go to dinner at my parents house. I do still try to look nice, though. I do my make up since it was ruined earlier and retouch my hair. I am so excited to see my daughters for the first time in a month, aside from when they were asleep last night. Karen tells me she's ready when I am and I practically sprint to the car. My palms are sweating like I'm going on a first date and she keeps glancing at me as we make the short drive to my Mom and Dad's house.
She meets me on my side of the car after she parks and gives me a short pep talk as I'm so incredibly nervous.
"You have no reason to be scared. They love you and they will be so excited to see you." She tells me, holding my hands in hers and I nod. We approach the door and before I can knock it was flung open suddenly.
"We've been waiting for you!" Lindsey says, smiling at me and kissing my cheek. "Hey Karen" he says and Karen smiles back as we follow him inside. We pass through to the kitchen and my daughters are sitting at the table with an oatmeal cookie each. "Guess who's here?" Lindsey says and the girls turn around. They look older to me somehow and I immediately start to cry.
"Mommy!" They squeal in unison, hopping off their chairs. I crouch down and they tackle me with hugs.
"I missed you so much mommy!" Aria says, holding onto me.
"Are you going away again?" Willow asks "Please stay with us"
"Mommy is going to be close by, I won't be going away anymore. Only for work, but that won't be for a while" I tell them and Willow still seems hesitant but Aria accepts the answer.
"Come see our room! Daddy made it so cool!" Aria says and I look up at Lindsey who nods his approval. I stand back up and our oldest drags me upstairs. Willow asks to be held by Lindsey and he agrees. Aside from birth, she's always been a pixie, so small and petite. We get upstairs and it really is a little girl's dream. It was hard to see it in the darkness last night but it's so pretty. Very, very pink and frilly, stuffed animals everywhere and their little beds have so many fluffy pillows and dolls on them. Just as I've stopped crying, I start again and Lindsey pulls me into him, kissing my hair.
"Do you like it, Mommy?" Willow asks.
"I love it, baby. It's beautiful. Are you having fun here?"
"Yeah, it's lots of fun but I want to go home with you."
"We can all go home soon" Lindsey chimes in and I smile up at him.
"Really?" She asks, her big brown eyes full of hope. He looks to me briefly then nods.
"Yep. Right before school starts again"
"Okay" she says. "Will you hold me now?" Willow looks at me from her father's arms and reaches for me.
"Of course I will. I was waiting for you to ask me, sweet girl!" I accept her into my arms and give her a loving squeeze.
"You got mad at me last time" she says, sadly. "I had a monster mommy, not my real mommy"
I bury my face in her hair, sobbing and Lindsey rubs my back. "I am so sorry, baby." I say when I finally calm myself down. "Your real mommy is back for good. Monster mommy will never come back"
