After Gus...

Chapter 4

I sat there, processing what had just happened for what felt like hours.

My only explanation was that I hallucinated the entire experience. That it was just an episode brought on by the extreme stress of losing my only love and my inevitable death following his. It made complete sense, and I had already decided that I would inform my doctor of this, so I could be better treated. Right after I decided this my mom walked in. "Hazel! Are you back yet?"

"Yes," I call weakly back to her.

She walked into the living room and sits next to me. She gave me a light squeeze and then she asked, "How'd it go?"

I didn't want to immediately worry her by saying, "Oh fine, I just had an episode and thought that our new neighbor looked exactly like my dead boyfriend but that is obviously impossible." So, instead I just casually asked, "Did that boy look familiar to you?"

She shrugged and just said, "I guess, why?"

So, it was settled. I was delusional. I'm not going to lie, I hoped that maybe I hadn't had an episode. I hoped that Alex was one of the 7 people that looked exactly like Gus. But, instead I was delusional. How terribly unfortunate. And I was not looking forward to telling my parents about this either. I started to explain, "Well, because I—" But, my mom cut me short.

"Where is the container?!" She practically screeched.

Of course! I had to run out of that place before grabbing the container. It was right there! I had to restrain myself from banging my head against the wall.

I put my hands up in the air, as if to surrender, and before I could worry about having to go over there again I said "I'm so sorry, I'll go get it right now."

She suddenly got this struggling look on her face as if she was deciding between two evils, "But I don't want them to think that the container is that big of a deal that we had to come back and get it," she said, because clearly that was a terrible fate.

I wanted to fix this, but I wasn't sure I wanted it enough to go over there and have another episode. So, I sat there and tried to think of any possible way of getting that container nonchalantly without having to actually see the neighbor. I briefly considered sneaking into the house and stealing it away but that plan was soon dashed by the thought of me being sneaky and swift with Philip. I hate you lungs, I thought as I said, "I can just say I forgot my phone and once I realize that it was in my back pocket the whole time, I'll offer to take the container off their hands."

My moms face lit up hearing this great plan to both get our container back and to remain friendly with our new neighbors.

I stood up even though every single part of me told me to sit back down. I wheeled Philip out the front door. Once I had closed the front door behind me, I stopped, closed my eyes, and took a deep breathe. Maybe he won't look like him this time. Maybe the delusion was just a one time thing. It was all probably just a fluke.

And then a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts. "What are you about to embark on for you to need that much courage?"

I didn't need to open my eyes to know whose voice that belonged to, Gus—I mean, Alex. Gus is dead. So the new neighbor stole my dead boyfriend's voice too. Just what I needed to top off this day.