The Diary Of a Teenage Girl

Chapter 7

It was a Sunday morning. It felt cold and sunny at the same time. I didn’t want to go to church, actually I was feeling cold. I even thought I had fever or something. (Message alert) “Are you Ok?” it was from Shaun, I wasn’t angry but I replied with a small “yes”  to show that I’m not Ok but I’m fine. I really felt like those girls who party all weekend long I was really tired. Tired of all the thinking and all the voices going on my mind, “Why is this happening? Is it natural? But it’s my first time feeling this way” I kept asking myself and answering those same questions. The best thing I liked about the day was that I felt like cooking, cooking a sweet tasty delicious meal for everyone. “And why aren’t you going to church?” mum was already on my case, it was a difficult one but I managed to answer it. “I just don’t feel well mum” I said “Must I make an appointment for you for Monday?” I didn’t want anything to do with doctors so I just replied with a “NO! I’M FINE” “OHK… just call me when you feel worse” ok now this was kind of weird, my mum is never this kind what happened to her over night? Those were the most unusual words she ever said. Sometimes I felt like she doesn’t care.
Monday 14 January. I was actually NOT in the mood of going to school, but this had to end. I was already at school and in deep thoughts with my head on the ground looking at the golden brown stones, I even felt like I was dreaming when Lucy pushed me from behind “Hey chicken, how are you I’m glad to see you I missed you so much” I just looked at her and my lips felt like they were glued together so I just didn’t answer her “Hey! Girl are you OK? You don’t look fine what’s wrong? Oh… never mind don’t tell me. It’s Shaun isn’t it?” I just looked at her without even saying a yes or a no she took my look as a yes. “Girl what on earth is wrong with him? What has he done this time?” “Nothing Lulu, it just that…” finally I spoke but It wasn’t what I wanted. I just felt like I could shut my mouth for the whole day. “Just what Talk to me!” She sounded irritated, because sometimes I can be secretive. “It just that I have something to tell you” The morning bell rand we had to get to our different classes. “Break time you will have to tell me everything, or I’ll make you talk OK?  That was a threat but hey she’s like that I’m not surprised. I had to face Sandra again. Oh my word.
I was so surprised and shocked when she just greeted me and went straight to her desk, but I didn’t show it. I thought she had a bad weekend but no she was just normal. I think GOD spoke to her overnight and told her to stop bothering me. Because I seriously feel happy about all this, After 20 minutes she sent me a note “Hey are you ok? You look worried I hope everything is fine don’t worry too much GOD is in control” When I started reading it I almost smashed my face on my desk, because I felt like she was at the dentist the whole weekend, she can’t talk those silly things she usually says. Now she is writing it on paper. But no GOD really spoke to her overnight. “I’m ok girl thanks for asking, I just don’t feel like talking today” I replied. I was just glad she didn’t ask about my relationship or Shaun.
We had all three lessons when it was finally break time and just even before the school bell rang, Lucy was already in my class. She told me to sit down I’m not going anywhere. “Today you are not eating until you tell me what is wrong with you and Shaun, the sooner the better Cindy! I can’t look at you suffering like this no!” “Ok fine, I feel like I’m not the ‘Cindy’ you know anymore, I feel like I have no value anymore, no life and not to talk about my pride, I feel so stupid and…I don’t know” I then started crying with one eye…oh gosh I don’t know how but I did actually. “Oh gosh! Why? What really happened talk to me, what happened on Saturday?” she was wiping the tears off my cheeks with a pink soft tissue like I’m a two year old. “Ok, I went to Shaun’s house. We wanted to sit in the sitting room but his
mum was in there busy, so we went to his room and watched a movie, we then started kissing and…” she interrupted me while I was talking “Never mind girl I already know what happened. Weren’t you ready?” oh my word! I was just shocked. “I was but… I just don’t know what is wrong now, I don’t even want to see him, he probably thinks I’m absent” “Listen…you need to face Shaun and talk a friendly talk with him just to get things to soften up, just make sure you don’t talk about Saturday. Then come and tell me how it went ok?” She was worried I saw it in her eyes. “I’m calling him in here, now please do as I say and GOD will bless you and stop crying” she created a smile
I didn’t want to see him but I had to try this, when I saw him coming in I really felt my heart smile but I wanted to leave him there and run away at the same time. But instead I smiled. “Hey” he said. “Hey sweetie” I had to pretend as if I’m ok. “I missed you, how are you? I saw you with Lucy earlier you didn’t look fine so… I decided not to come to you because it seemed like you were having a girl talk” “No. I’m ok I just didn’t feel like talking today but because of my naughty class I was laughing the whole lessons”
“I don’t want to see you sad. I love you with all… I mean everything that I have and my heart of course, you are the reason I wake up each and every day” my heart melted as always “I love you more” I said this looking in his eyes. “That doesn’t sound right. You know the words “I love you” have no value now because people use it for the wrong reasons, what word can we use instead of saying ‘I love you’? He said. That’s just something else but true. “Uhm… I get your point bur err…let me think how about…” “FOREVER” we both said. Then we laughed so hard. “I’m starting to think we are using one brain now” I couldn’t stop laughing. “I don’t blame you, forever it is then my dear” he then took my hand and kissed me on my forehead and we looked each other straight in the eyes. “Forever” we both said.
14 January 2013 18:25
Dear diary…I almost lost it all by not feeling like I want to see Shaun. I love the guy, my guy. Oh… I mean i forever the guy, it sounds weird but, I didn’t feel myself and thought I lost it all but thanks to the crazy clown Lucy I really love her, and I’m glad I listened. I  felt like my life was over and I’m going to be like that until the end of time, oh… and thank GOD Sandra’s out of my case let me say so far… what a wonderful day. LORD HELP