Mr. Cinderella (5SOS) {discontinued}

(14) About 'Stuff'

My eyes widen as I take in the scene playing before my eyes: Brandy.  Tyler.  Kissing.

 

So, Calum's suspicions were correct.  I had really been hoping that maybe he had got it wrong this time, or that it was all some big misunderstanding.  These two people in front of me, two of the people I used to trust the most, are now the two people suffocating my heart, squeezing the life out of it slowly.  Tyler, sure, with him it's not as much of a surprise - he's always been one of those guys that looks at other girls even when he's with his girlfriend.  I just never expected him to act on it; I trusted him.  I guess that just shows how well I can judge a person's character, right?

 

But Brandy?  One of my best friends, someone I invited to stay with me for three weeks on a continent she isn't used to.  I mean, I could understand the homesickness.  I could understand the frustration, anger, sadness and everything else that comes with that.  I can't, however, accept this.  Ever since she got here, I've been trying my best to be a good host and help her to feel at home.  Hell, I even set her and Calum up, just like she always wanted, even though it's weird seeing him together when he's like a brother to me.

 

Shit: Calum.  How do I tell him about this?  How am I supposed to tell him he was right?  On some levels, I think his mind is already made up; his thoughts can be like a one-way street sometimes, once he believes something even the truth won't be able to set him straight.  I could see it in his eyes earlier though - that text message hit him like a ton of bricks.  I don't know when I tell him that he was right, I'm not even sure how I'm going to tell him.  All I know is that this is his problem just as much as it is mine: his basically-girlfriend, my boyfriend.  We sure know how to pick 'em, don't we, Cal?

 

As I stand there on the grass, feet glued to the ground, frozen in place by the icy realisation of the secret relationship that has begun between Brandy and Tyler, a smile begins to blossom on my face; it's small and weak, barely noticeable unless you're specifically looking for it, but it's a smile all the same.  A smile that marks the decimation of all guilt from my mind, the lifting of all burdens regarding that mystery kiss - I no longer have to distract myself from schoolwork by asking myself repeatedly when and where and how to tell Tyler about that kiss.  I know, deep down, that I shoud probably still feel some remorse, or at least some regret that I didn't see this coming, or some overwhelming sadness that I've lost Brandy and Tyler to each other, but I don't.  I can't.  How can I feel anything other happy right now?  I mean, I'm free.  Finally.  

 

I used to think that Tyler was the best thing that ever happened to me.  He plucked me from oblivion, knocked down the walls I kept up around everyone but Kat and Cal, and he never let me go.  In return, I was there for him, I was supportive, I tried not to be jealous, and I held onto him just as he held onto me. So, in some ways, I suppose this is a release of sorts; we're both finally able to let go.

 

I hadn't realised how much the thought of 'letting go' appealed to me before now.

 

Before I know it, I'm back on the pavement, only socks clothing my otherwise bare feet, although, admittedly, shoes would probably be the more appropriate choice with all this snow beginning to fall around me, starting to line the streets.  Still, I can't turn back.  I can't go inside, not in this state. I don't know where my body is taking me (I have some idea, but I can't be sure), but I figure that if I've already come this far without consciously doing so, then clearly my mind has a route mapped out that I don't know about.  Shrugging, I take my phone from my pocket and let my feet carry me to my destination.  I tilt the phone screen up slightly, so that I can see my face reflected in it.  Surprisingly, there are some tears sliding down my faces, pulling streaks of mascara along with them.