Mr. Cinderella (5SOS) {discontinued}

(21) It's Complicated

After another hour of sledging, the six of us eventually all agree that we're too cold to stay outside for much longer and decide it's time to head back.  Most of the walk back is filled with arguments about who was the best at sledging in terms of balance or direction or, every so often, jokes about myself and Luke or Kat and Ashton (although I'm not sure that the boys are aware that there is a possibility that Kat and Ashton may actually become a 'thing' now - they still seem to be stuck on comments about how they should go out, which indicates to me that Ashton hasn't said anything yet, which is probably for the best given the relentless joking Luke and I are receiving).

When we finally reach the boys' 'house', Calum unlocks the front door for us while Michael hurls snowballs at Ashton and Luke tries to figure out what to do with the pizza boxes, given that they are now completely soaked through with snow.  I laugh as I watch him turn the boxes over in his hands, as though a magical clue might appear on the cardboard like a Magic 8 Ball.  "We should probably get going soon," Kat says as we step inside, wiping the melting snow on our shoes onto the doormat before removing them.  However relaxed the boys may be when it comes to wearing shoes inside, I doubt they would appreciate us walking mud and slush across the floor.

I bite my lip; she's right, of course, but I really don't want to go home.  Sure, a nice warm bed and a fridge full of food will be waiting for me, but so will Brandy.  Obviously, I don't particularly want to see or speak to Brandy - I do, however, want to sort things out, which slightly flaws my whole 'ignore her' plan.  It's doubtful that we'll ever be friends again, but she's going to be living in my house until the end of the week, and it would be nice if I could be, at the very least, civil with her.  Plus, I have just realised that she doesn't even know that I saw anything happen between her and Tyler - even if we never reconcile, she probably deserves to know why I'm dubious about trusting her now, given that she also has no idea why I didn't come home last night.  

Speaking of not going home last night: I am going to be in so much trouble with my parents.  Kat told my mum that I slept over at her house last night, and I guess she didn't actually realise I left - and never came back - until this morning.  On one hand, she's going to be incredibly annoyed that I didn't tell her I wasn't going to be coming home, especially since I'm not meant to host or go to sleepovers on a school night.  Luckily Kat had the forethought to cover for me, otherwise the situation would be a whole lot worse and my parents would probably be hysterical - plus, it's probably a good thing that my mum doesn't know I stayed here last night, because however much she loves Calum, it's doubtful that she would appreciate my sleeping in a house with three boys she doesn't know that well, and therefore can't trust quite yet.  Still, that doesn't mean I won't be in trouble; I still didn't tell my parents where I was, I haven't apologised yet or called them today, and I'll bet I'll be receiving a lecture on being a good hostess when I get home, given that I didn't tell Brandy where I was either, nor did I offer for her to come with me.  

Of course, perhaps my parents would be more understanding if they knew what actually happened last night, but I don't want to drag any more people into this mess - for both my benefit and Calum's.  And, actually, Brandy's - if my parents found out about what she did, about what she's been doing, they're not likely to be as welcoming of her.  The positive side of that would be that I wouldn't get the whole 'good hostess' lecture, but as much as I want to hate Brandy, I know that it isn't possible, not because what she did wasn't wrong (it was definitely wrong), but I don't know the full story yet, and I'm trying to remember that.  Plus, even if I was capable of hating Brandy, turning everyone around her against her isn't the way to handle things; it's malicious, it's spiteful, it's vengeful, and, most importantly, it's not me.  Sure, I may say things sometimes that come across as bitchy or cold-hearted, but I can empathise with people, and I do know the difference between right and wrong, and I intend to keep it that way, even if my current circumstances are working to make that more difficult for me.