Mr. Cinderella (5SOS) {discontinued}

(16) So Much For Taking It Slow

Luke grins back at me, wrapping his arms around me tightly, and I breathe him in blissfully.  After everything that has happened over the past twenty-four hours, it seems only fair that I get a chance at happiness - actually, not even just the last twenty-four hours; there have been issues between Tyler and I from the beginning, only last night was the first thing that truly made me see him for what he is, and made me accept that the cracks in our relationship aren't necessarily repairable, nor do they have to be.  As I look up at Luke again, taking in the feeling of his arms around me, I get the feeling that this time, in this relationship with this boy, there won't be any cracks that need repairing.  I think we might just be unbreakable; I can only hope that this time, I'm not wrong like I was with Tyler.

"Remember what I said, though," Luke mumbles into my hair, and I nod once I realise what he's referring to.

"Take it slow," I affirm.  "Got it."

We stay hugging for a moment, until I break the silence.  "Luke?"  I pull away from him, breaking the embrace so that I can look at him properly.  He looks worried, and I have to fight the urge to laugh - he has nothing to be worried about.  He doesn't answer, so I take his silence to mean that he's listening.  "What exactly is 'taking it slow'?"

A smile slowly spread across Luke's face as he begins to laugh, visibly relaxing as he realises that my question isn't a bad one (although, I do feel pretty damn stupid asking it).  "You know, I'm not actually too sure."

Now it's my turn to laugh.  How the hell are we supposed to be taking things slowly when neither one of us actually has any idea what that is supposed to mean?  Whenever characters on television shows or in movies decide to 'take things slow', they basically seem to do all the couple-y things, just without labelling the relationship, or moving too quickly, or telling everyone everything.  Aside from labelling the relationship, that's essentially how all my past relationships (i.e Tyler) have gone, so I'm fine with that.  I just don't want for Luke and I to be thinking we're doing the same thing when in reality, we're both going by two different definitions.

"What do you want it to mean?" I ask, figuring that at least if we make up a definition, we'll both be on the same page, even if it goes against whatever the rest of the world thinks. 

Luke pauses for a moment, absentmindedly biting on his lower lip.  I look down, trying not to get too caught up in him.  And to think, last week you were trying not to like him.  "I want," Luke begins, and my head automatically lifts, connecting my gaze with his, "for us to be able to just get used to whatever this is."  He gestures between himself and me, and I understand immediately what he's trying to say - no matter how close I may feel to him (especially after last night, when he basically witnessed my weakest and most embarrassing moments) we still don't really know each other. Sure, we know stuff about each other, like our favourite school subjects (his is Maths, mine is English), but that's about it - we still don't actually know who we are.  And if we don't know each other, how are we supposed to make a relationship work?

I nod.  "Anything else?" I press.

"Uhh," Luke runs a hand through his hair, which has been ruffled and messed up by sleep.  God, I think, my hair must look like crap.  As soon as the thought pops into my head, my hand flies to my hair and I'm about to comb my fingers through it when I realise that I don't actually care - last night, Luke saw me with mascara streaming down my face, my eyes red and puffy, my whole demeanor hopeless.  He's seen me at my worst point, so anything else must be a step up, right?  Besides, unlike with Tyler, I feel relaxed just being with Luke.  I don't need to spend ages on hair and makeup, I don't need to carefully select outfits, I don't need to try.  I feel like I can be myself around with him, which is something I've never really felt around anyone other than Kat and Calum.  It's a weird feeling.  Strange?  Yes.  Foreign?  Yes.  And yet, it's surprisingly comfortable.