Caught Up // Jimmy Butler

Chapter 19

"Sir," The nurse began, walking into the room where now just Jimmy was sitting, "If you'd like, while your wife is in surgery, you are able to see your baby." She suggested.

"I can see him?" Jimmy repeated.

"Yes sir." The nurse smiled, "Though you won't be able to actually hold him, since he's in such critical condition he has to remain in the incubator." She reminded, "You up for it?"

"Yeah." Jimmy breathed, getting up and following the nurse to the elevator, where they then got off of the pediatrics floor. Jimmy saw the room ahead of them. A room full of babies in what looked like plastic boxes with little holes, it was killing him to think that his son was stuck in there.

"Alrighty," The nurse said, holding the door open for him and leading him over to a row of incubators being monitored by other nurses, "Right here." She smiled, moving over so Jimmy could get a better look. 

"Whoa," Jimmy let out with a smile, looking down at his son. The nurse pulled a chair over for him, and he sat as he saw his son sleeping soundly, "He's so small."

"I know it seems scary," the nurse sympathized, "But, just trust that the process will work out for him, he came way too early. Just have to hope for the best." She half smiled, as Jimmy just nodded, "I'll give you some time." 

Jimmy looked down at that little face. He was just adorable, Jimmy smiled to himself seeing that he had gotten his nose. 

"Hey, little man." Jimmy whispered, bringing his face closer. His mind was racing, he just couldn't believe that he was actually a father. The infant stirred slightly, breaking Jimmy from his thoughts as he focused on the little rascal. The child slowly opened his eyes for a moment, but it was long enough for Jimmy to see - he had his mother's eyes. Jimmy didn't even realize he had some tears glossing his eyes, until the child closed his eyes again. 

He took his phone out, and tried his best to snap some pictures of his son. Baby names were racing through his head as he focused the small camera on his phone. He was just perfect, and Jimmy couldn't believe it. This kid was a Butler now, and Butler's were fighters. He had to make it. 

"Mr. Butler." The nurse approached, "You ready?" She said, looking at the clock. 

"Ready?" Jimmy asked, realizing he'd been sitting there for hours, "Oh, shit." He said, quickly getting up. 

"You're wife - uh, fiance." She corrected herself, "She's out of surgery." She nodded, "You can see her now, if you want." 

"Yeah." Jimmy nodded, rubbing the back of his neck for a moment, "I wanna see her." He nodded, taking a final look at the baby sleeping away, "See you soon, little guy." He smiled, putting his hand on top of the thick plastic incubator, "I love you already." 

The nurse led Jimmy back towards the elevator, and swiftly to Allison's room. Putting her hand on the door handle, the nurse paused for a moment. 

"Just so you know," She began, "She's a little unresponsive," She warned, "It's not really anything to worry about, for now. It's just from all the trauma, we'll be monitoring her." She explained, as Jimmy just nodded. 

"Okay," He sighed, "I just...I really need to see her." He said, as the nurse nodded. 

"Miss. Walker." The nurse said quietly, "You're fiance." She said, letting Jimmy in and closing the door behind her. 

"Baby," Jimmy breathed, taking her all in - she looked worn out, "How are you?" He asked, pulling a chair up next to her bed. 

"I'm okay." She sniffled, turning slowly towards him, "I'm gonna have this shitty scar on my head now," She tried to chuckle, pointing at the stitches in her scalp from where the doctors had performed surgery. "But, they said I should be fine." She smiled weakly. 

"Thanks god." Jimmy sighed, taking her hands in hers, "And hey," He smirked, "Scar's kinda hot." He shrugged, getting a smile out of her. 

"I love you." She said softly, looking up at him. 

"I love you, too." He nodded, intertwining their fingers. "Hey, wait!" He said, frantically, disconnecting their hands and taking out his phone. 

"What?" Allison asked, with a slight giggle. 

"I took pictures." He said, scrolling through his photos. 

"Pictures?" She questioned, with confusion, "Pictures of what?" 

"Pictures of our baby." He smiled, pulling up the first photo ad turning his phone towards her. 

"Oh my god." She whispered, taking the phone from him and scrolling through the pictures. "He's beautiful." She breathed, as a few tears began slipping from her eyes. 

"He has your eyes." Jimmy said, rubbing her arm softly, "He opened them for a second." he explained, with a smile. 

"His face looks a lot like you." She grinned, looking from the photo to Jimmy, "Did you hold him?" She asked, continuing through the pictures. 

"No," Jimmy shook his head, "I couldn't," he explained, "He's gotta stay in there, I guess, doctors still need to watch him and stuff." He concluded, seeing more tears escape and roll down her cheeks, "Hey, hey." He said, grabbing her hand again. 

"I just..." Allison said, fighting back tears. She was a mess. She felt so weak, and she couldn't even protect or help her own child, "This is all because of me." She sniffled. 

"Stop it." Jimmy barked, "You gotta stop with that shit." He said again, "This isn't on you, A." He reminded, "If anything, I shoulda been with you." 

"No," Allison shook her head, "If I would've just-"

"Nope." He cut her off, "This isn't because of anything you did, you gotta know that, baby." He said, stroking her cheek, "I'm just glad he's alive." He said, "He's little but strong." He smiled. 

"I could've done something." She concluded. 

"No," Jimmy said again, "C'mon," He began, "Let's try and be positive now, okay?" He asked, looking down into her eyes, "I'm just glad I have you back." He said honestly, "He's our baby, he's a fighter." He continued, causing Allison to crack a smile. 

"Yeah." Allison took a deep breath, "Positive, right." She said, trying to breathe. 

"There you go." Jimmy smiled, "Now, c'mon let's watch tv or something," He suggested, looking for the remote, "We'll put on some funny shit you like." He teased, as he finally located the remote and saw she turned away from him, "A?" He questioned, as her face was in her hands.

Allison took her hands down, as the tears wouldn't stop falling, "I..." 

"I thought we were trying to be positive?" He reminded, putting his hand on top of her. 

"Jimmy," She managed to get out, "I..." She breathed, trying to calm her tears for a moment to speak, "I can't...I just I don't want you to hate me." She got out. 

"Hate you?" Jimmy asked, with total confusion, "Baby, I could seriously never hate you." He said truthfully, bringing his hand back up to her cheek, "You know I love you." He said with confusion. 

"Jimmy," Allison said with pain in her voice, "I don't want you to resent me if...if he doesn't make it."