When I Text You, It Means I Miss You

Never Letting You Go

Pete's POV

I really just wanted Patrick to talk to me more about it because I know that bottling things up inside doesn't help. It honestly just makes things worse. It's what I used to do and I still sometimes do and it's really destructive.

And he can't do that.

It won't help him and he won't be able to move on.

I know that feeling all too well.

After we went to bed I still couldn't really sleep. I just kept that thinking about Patrick.

And that stupid fucking Mitch. I swear to god if I ever see him I will beat the shit out of him and tell him "That's what Patrick always felt like."

Who the fuck would ever hurt the beautiful, amazing and wonderful angel that is Patrick Stump.

I couldn't get the images of Patrick getting hit out of my head.

So instead I just wrote some random lyrics in my notebook. Maybe I could work some into a song.

Let's play this game called when you catch fire, I wouldn't piss to put you out

If home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked

I don't know where you're going but do you have room for one more troubled soul

I got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match, what a catch

I really liked that last one. But who knows. I decide to go make myself some coffee or else I won't be able to function today.

I tiptoe into the kitchen to make sure I don't wake Patrick. He really needs some sleep after everything last night.

I glance over at the couch while I'm making my coffee and can see him. He looks so peaceful and worry-free. I wish he could be like that all the time.

All of the sudden he starts squirming around and mumbling. He must be having a weird dream.

But then he starts screaming.

"NO NO NO NO NO! STOP IT PLEASE STOP IT! PLEASE NO MORE MITCH NO!"

I quickly rush over to him and shake him. "Patrick wake up! Patrick it's just a dream!"

He wakes up with a jolt and immediately sits up. He's sweating and breathing really heavily. I make sure to lightly place my hand on his shoulder. He flinches away at first.

"Patrick it's okay. It was a dream. You're here with me and everything is okay."

I can see his breathing start to slow. I place my hand back on his shoulder and he relaxes into my touch.

"Would you like some coffee or tea?"

"T-tea, p-please."

I get up and make his tea and bring it back to him. I place the cup on the table in front of him. His breathing is back to normal and he's not shaking but he still hasn't looked up from his lap.

"Do...do you wanna talk about it?"

"It was just a memory." He says without looking up.

I sigh. "Do you wanna talk about.....him?"

It's silent for awhile. I'm scared I've made him more upset but then he starts talking.

"Everything was fine. Mitch was actually a really good boyfriend. So sweet and caring and charming. He used to bring me home flowers on random days just to make me smile. We used to sit in coffee shops and talk about anything and everything for hours. I had never felt more loved with him."

He takes a deep breath in and I can see the tears peeking from his eyelids.

"But then everything changed. He started drinking more and when he drank, he turned mean. At first it was just words. He would tell me I'm fat and ugly and pathetic and worthless and untalented which is all true anyway. But hearing it from him.....it might have been worse than the actual beatings. But I guess once yelling and belittling me wasn't enough, he moved on to physically hurting me instead of just verbally. The first time it happened it was a slap and then an instant apology. But as it progressed the hitting escalated to punching and shoving and kicking and the apologies stopped happening. It got to the point where he would blame me. Tell me it was my fault and I was making him do this to me. But last night something inside finally snapped when he punched me and I ran out and then when I came here, I realized I didn't want to go back."

There's tears leaking out of his eyes but he's smiling. I'm just staring at him wide-eyed not being able to believe the entire story that I was just told.

But he's smiling and I don't know why until he says, "Pete you made me realize I can't go back there. You've been so kind to me and I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared but I know I can't go back there and fall into that vicious cycle. And you made me realize that."

My jaw is wide open and I can't believe what I'm hearing. But before I can say anything I am attacked into a huge hug by Patrick. His head is on my shoulder and he's sniffling but I can hear the smile in his voice as he says, "Thank you Pete. Thank you so much."

I just smile and hug him tighter as I think

I am never letting you go