When I Text You, It Means I Miss You

I Don't Deserve This

Good morning gorgeous :)

Oh wow I get a good morning text now :P

Hey it's not my fault you're always up before me

That's because you don't wake up until 1 pm, Patrick

Wow look who's sassy today :P

Yeah well...just one of those days

Hey is everything okay?

Yeah I'm fine

You don't seem fine

Well I am

You don't seem very talkative today

I'm not.

Okay...do you want to be left alone?

Yes...no..maybe

Pete what's going on?

It's a bad day

How so?

I feel worthless and hopeless like nothing is going right. I'm going nowhere in life. I don't like what I'm doing. I'm not good enough for you or deserve you which is fine cause you'll probably leave. Everyone always leaves me. I feel so alone and isolated. I don't want to be here. 

Pete, none of what you said is true. You are going somewhere and if you don't like what you are doing, start doing what you like. You aren't alone. You have me and Joe and countless others that are here for you. And the least true thing is that you are not good enough for me. If anything I am not good enough for you. You're incredible Pete. Don't forget that. 

It doesn't feel that way.

Well just know it's true...what did you mean you don't want to be here?

Just what I said

Okay but did you mean here in this moment or here in general

I have to go

No Pete don't 

Pete please answer me

Pete I'm getting really worried

Pete you're scaring me

Please answer the phone

I'm coming over 

I immediately jump into my car and race over to Pete's house. I can't stop my thoughts from racing. They are jumping from one worst case scenario to the next. My heart is pounding so loud in my chest that I can hear it over the music on the radio. My hands are shaking so hard it's almost too difficult to steer. I have to focus. I just need to get to Pete's house.

He has to be there. He has to be okay.  He has to be okay.

He's having a bad day. He won't make any rash decisions. Pete is logical. 

He won't try anything.

A honk behind me startles me from my thoughts. I can't think like that while I'm driving. 

I finally reach Pete's house after what seems like forever and race up to his door. I take a deep breath, trying to erase all those thoughts from my head. I am about to knock on the door when I hear a noise from inside. I put my ear up to the door and I can barely make out crying. It's Pete. 

I breathe a sigh of relief and go to knock on the door when I stop and see that the door is slightly open. 

I open the door and try to walk as silently as I can. The sight that I see on the couch almost breaks my heart. Pete is curled up on the couch, hugging a pillow to his chest and sobbing into it. 

I walk over and sit next to him on the couch. He doesn't notice me so I gently place a hand on his shoulder and say, "Pete?"

He looks at me with tears streaming down my face and responds, "Patrick, what are you doing here?" He sounds surprised, like he thinks no one cares enough to make sure he's okay. 

"I wanted to make sure you were okay because I could tell you weren't." His face crumples and he starts to sob harder. I place his head in my lap and I start to stroke his hair, "Hey it's okay. It's gonna be okay. I'm here. You're not alone and we are going to get through this together." 

The tears are falling faster and he clutches the pillow tighter. 

"I-I-I d-d-don't de-e-es-serve th-th-ii-ss." I wipe some tears away from his eyes and reply, "Of course you do." 

"N-n-no I-I d-don't."

I tilt my head in confusion, "why do you think that?"

"B-bec-cause n-no o-one's e-ever d-done this-s-s." 

My heart immediately cracks into thousands of tiny pieces. I stare straight into his eyes so he knows I mean it. 

"I am here and I am not going anywhere because you deserve all the love in the world, Pete Wentz." 

Wow look at that I actually updated. I'm sorry it always takes me so long to update. I honestly don't know why. If you guys have any suggestions on how to update more regularly please let me know. Also tell what you think of this story and leave comments below of what you like. Thank you guys!