Innocence (OUAT/Peter Pan)

Chapter 19: Losing Magic, Losing Him

Elle had no idea how long she had been lying in that cage. She'd woken up after that first meeting with the hook-handed pirate to the empty little room, rusty cage, and her dull hair. At least some of her magic was coming back, enough to stop her bleeding cuts but that was about it. She didn't know what time it was, what day, or how much time had passed. She still didn't, all she knew was the man came back occasionally to bother her for information, and smack her around a bit, and she'd been brought water twice more. From time to time, little spurts of magic would shoot from her, trying to protect her, but it was never much and the man seemed to enjoy it. She hadn't had any food, and her stomach hurt from it.

            "Ok," she thought aloud, trying to chase away the damned silence. She couldn't even hear the crew above or the ocean. "Last time I was starving, my stomach hurt around the...the third...day. A few days, that's not bad." She'd been here for a few days. Then she had another thought: where was Pan?

            With nothing else to do, her magic still suspended, Elle couldn't stop herself from going down that train of thought. Pan hadn't come to save her, and there was no sign of the Lost Boys. Did she really not matter? But the boys had to care about her and want her back. If not for her herself, then for her magic or her knowledge of them.

            What if the pirate was right? Pan was evil, and didn't care, and she was fooling herself? A wave of pain hit her stomach and she clutched it, clenching her jaw and squeezing the tears back. She wasn't going to cry, she'd cried once in Neverland and she wasn't going to ever again.

            Her attention snapped to the door when it banged open. The man who brought her water was quiet, but the man with the hook wasn't. She unconsciously backed tighter into the corner of the cage as he strode toward her. His face was calculating, but not angry, which was a relief. He unlocked the cage door and kneeled in front of her, grabbing a handful of her hair. She yelped as he dragged her forward and out of the cage until she was half-sitting half-lying in the middle of the room. Another dirty man walked in and held her shoulders tightly enough to cause bruises as the hook-handed pirate sauntered around her.

            Elle grit her teeth and looked into his blue eyes, and he understood. "I'll just cut to the chase and tell you," he smirked. "We've noticed your magic is returning quite quickly, and I must say I'm impressed. That spell was from Rumpelstiltskin himself, I'm sure you know him," Elle scowled but refused to make a sound. "I do hope you'll use your magic to perhaps call Pan here, so I can finally have that talk with him."

            He stopped with his side facing her, and smirked over his shoulder. "I haven't seen a sign of him or any of the boys," he smirked, not missing her wince. "So you're going to summon him here, just like you did the Shadow."

            "No," she said quietly, simply. She couldn't stop the fear that rose when his face became angry and he stepped towards her. "I can't," she added quickly, making him pause and cock his head. She'd bought herself a few seconds. "I'm already in Neverland, the Shadow won't come. And anyway, I only summoned the Shadow, and on accident, you can't summon Pan himself." He glared at her, and for a moment everything was quiet. The man holding her didn't even breathe, then the hook-handed pirate slapped her. Elle's head jerked to the side, but she looked back at him quickly, ignoring the dull sting. At least it was with his hand this time.

            She pulled her legs under her so she was kneeling, and the other man's grip on her shoulders tightened. Not that it mattered, she didn't think she could stand anyway. "Well, if you won't use your magic, I will," he said. Elle bit back her laugh. She didn't even remember how to will her power to others anymore, Pan had given her such freedom and control. He drew his sword and stood behind her, grabbing her hair at her scalp and yanking her head back.

            "No, no," she gasped, realizing what he meant. "It won't work, please." He just yanked painfully on her hair again and she bit her lip. She fought against protesting, against being afraid of losing all her magic, against being afraid of him. She bit her lip until it bled.

            It was so fast, yet so slow. Elle squirmed and fought with every bit of the little energy she had, but the pirate's sword cut through her hair anyway. Immediately, the part severed flashed from white to brown, a light brown she'd seen before. On her mother. But she just barely remembered her when a blinding pain shot through her whole body. Elle couldn't even define it. She felt like fire was inside her, burning her from the inside out. Knives were being thrust into her chest, carving out her heart. Both pirates backed away in fear, the hook-handed one in anger as well. Elle was screaming from the pain, she heard herself beg for water.

            The other pirate tried to reach out to her, but the contact hurt more and she pushed herself away. The pirate kept touching her anyway. All Elle could feel was the pain.

Elle didn't know how much time had passed when the knives and fire suddenly relented. Just as suddenly as the pain had come, it dissipated, and she was lying on the dirty floor of her cage, covered in sweat and throat raw from screaming.

            Her hair that once trailed over the floor was now just below her shoulders. The missing weight felt weird, but she chuckled weakly. The hair he'd cut off had returned to what it would've been if she'd been born normal: the light brown hair of her mother. But her hair now was still white. The mistress had tried that once with just a few strands, but Elle didn't remember it being as terrible.

            She was exhausted, barely able to even curl up onto her side, and her heart felt heavy. Overcome with despair and a dark emptiness, Elle's mind was almost blank. Almost. She did think a few things.

            She still had her magic. This should have made her happier, but she couldn't find a single spark of warmth inside her. Peter Pan hadn't come for her, he was never going to. This should have made her sadder, but she couldn't feel anything at all. Just a numbness, or maybe it was acceptance. He wasn't going to come, even if she did try to summon him.

            She had to stay strong anyway. She'd fought so hard.