Blood / Joshler

.:Chapter Eleven:.

.:Tyler:.

Tyler just laid on his bed staring up at the ceiling as he tossed a ball into the air before catching it.

Today he had nothing planned, Josh was at work like usual so he was stuck at home doing shit all.

For some odd reason Tyler is starting to rely on Josh and he hates that but at the same time he doesn't.

He's had horrible thoughts ever since Josh actually came into his life. He's scared and worried about what might happen. No will happen.

There is no might in this situation because he just knows he's gonna do something and he just won't be able to stop himself no matter how much he tries.

He's just a whole new person when his other side takes over and it's not the better side. No it's his worst side the one that has been there with him since the day he killed his parents.

He hates what he does but he still does it anyway. Some part of him loves doing it as well because he just loves the feeling he gets when he is dragging knifes and blades over other people's bodies.

He loves the feeling he gets when he pushes the knife in someone's body. The feeling he gets when it pierces through their skin puncturing a small hole before it turns into a deep wound in the flesh.

He hates it but he craves it at he same time. It's just the feeling he gets when he does this. He may be out of his mind and not be able to control his body when his other self takes over but he doesn't care sometimes because the feeling he gets is great.

The feeling is definitely mutual.

Sometimes when his other self takes over he tries to take control and come back.

The only reason for him doing that is for Josh. He does it so that maybe he can better himself and stop for Josh.

So that he knows that maybe he won't end up hurting him but he knows that's not gonna happen.

He just sighs to himself and throws the ball at the wall which ends up knocking a picture frame off and smashing it but he honestly couldn't care.

Sometimes he wishes he let Josh take him down to the station because maybe that would help.

Or sometimes he wishes he just never met Josh in the first place. He knows that may sound mean but he does.

He's brought Josh into his life now, he's attached to this boy. He doesn't want that because he's afraid that he's going to snap in front of him. But he most likely will.

Another part of him just wishes he would just die already so he can get away from this hell of a life he is living.

Yeah people say live life to the fullest but come on. He murders people for a living and that's something people shouldn't live to the fullest because they're only hurting other people and causing them pain whether it's physical or emotionally.

He wishes that he would just have a normal life and not be the way he is but there is nothing he can do about that which he hates so much.

He wants to be this boy who can go out and not have think who's gonna be his next murder victim.

He wants to be a boy who can go out with friends or see his family and have a good time but he can't do that.

He has no family because he killed them.

His only friend is Josh but he wants him more then a friend but he can't. He won't.

Josh will always be a friend to him no matter how much he wants the boy to be his.

Yes they have sex. Yes they kiss a lot and cuddle as well and yes he knows he's probably leading this poor boy on but he can't help it.

He doesn't want to fall in love. He can't fall in love.

Everyone he's ever loved has either hurt him or he's ended up hurting them.

Which normally is the latter but he ends up hurting the people who have hurt him as well.

That's why he just keeps to himself now. No one can hurt him only the voices in his head can.

He let his guard down though. He's let Josh in. He doesn't want to let him go no matter how much he wants too. He just can't.

And there's only one reason for that.

He's in love.

____________

Okay. I need friends.

Kik me? It's ClifffocondaDont

Okay that's all (: