I Hate Everything About You

Run Away

{Sapphire's P.O.V.}

Journal Entry 1206

Today I finally found what I've been looking for.
I found him, Ciel, and I found his servant.
I know now what I was told was right.
He's not dead, like I thought, and I know exactly what happened to him.
He was almost sacrificed and I think I know  what may have led to it, but nobody would believe me anyway.
I'm just as mad as they all say, as far as anyone else is concerned.
Still, I know the truth.
I know what the Phantomhive name means, and I know what darkness has encircled it for years.
Now part of it has him, and I know I should hate that, damn it, do everything I can to stop it, but something's holding me back.
He trusts him.
He's a good liar, Sebastian.
He's attractive, capable and proud. There seems to be no limits to what he can do, but I have to remember what I saw before, why I'm even here and not in that place anymore.
I can't continue writing now, I can't risk this being seen. I can't write what's truly on my mind because it has to be kept secret.
Eventually the time will come when I have to act, and then I'll have to remember not to give in to his lies, even though, I'll admit, he's ridiculous, dazzling, and beautiful.
I'll have to remember to hate him, no matter what.
I will never succumb to the temptation Sebastian Michaelis is so good at using.

V. P.

I sigh as I put my pen down, and lean back to look at the low-hanging textile cover of the tent in which I'm staying for the time being. It's growing darker, the world outside. Night is fast approaching and with it more unpleasant memories will come. I stand up, walking slowly toward my bed, and lay on it, without shifting my gaze away from the colours in the cloth sky above me.

I wonder if Ciel's dreams are as bad as mine.

I'm here again, and still I've gotten no closer to achieving my goals. I start to wonder, to think back over what I've set out to do. What is the point of all this? I could just leave, make my own way. No. Not again. Not ever again.

I can't doubt myself now. This is the most crucial point in my life. I cannot give in to fear, not again. Not ever. I roll over and put my hand in my hair, running my fingers through it, remembering with each stroke how similar it is to his, to Ciel's. They're the same, of the same kind, as am I. I turn again to look out of the small gap that never quite closes even when the folds of the tent are drawn for the night. Then, I notice something I never thought I'd be witnessing. Well, not this soon anyway. I hear voices, one belonging to a woman, who I presume to be the one renowned as a tiger-tamer, Beast, and another one I already sour at the sound of, Sebastian's.

"Wouldn't it be good, to forget everything, even if it's just for tonight?

Indulge in pleasure, breathe a sweet poison, deep into your lungs..."

I can't believe what I'm seeing. He's tricking that woman- can she not see that? What idiot would believe him? Get out of there! Hit him! Hit him hard, Beast!

She doesn't hit him. She doesn't hit him softly or strongly or anything. She doesn't strike him at all. She's leaving with him! He's seducing her!

I make to leap out of bed and race out there to stop her but something holds me back. She doesn't know. Of course. Why would she? She'd have no way of knowing what he really was. I'd only end up hurting her if I tried to intervene.

Still, that doesn't mean I can't follow them. He'd be distracted. She'd clearly be otherwise entertained. I can do that, and maybe I'd even get the chance to stop by where Ciel is. No, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. He needs to be slowly coerced, not frightened by me, and what I have to say.

After a few minutes pass, I know what they're headed for, and where they're headed. I slowly walk to the exit of my tent, and seeing as my bunk-mate is absent again, I don't take any time dealing with formalities. I swiftly run out, making each step lighter than air, using what I've been taught about hunting, being silent, seemingly not in attendance to a fight I'd plan on winning. No one appears to notice me as I trail them. Eventually, I stop before a tent, dimly illuminated by a faint pink light from within, its fabric sides enveloped in a sickly sweet lavender glow. This is the place.

I notice shadows on the walls, even in the darkness- no one sees the same as I do. I've become accustomed to it, despite who I am, or was, really. I move cautiously to the same space, the flaw in the design of these structures which allows for potential peeping Toms to get a better look inside, but this rarely put anyone off. Most performers didn't much care for ceaseless privacy. At one point or another, even if they didn't want wanted to admit it, they wanted to be seen in more than one spotlight.

I don't think this was one of those times, but I don't care at all. I need to see what he's capable of. I look in, fighting my moral scruples, and then I see it. Oh my God.

He's got this woman face down, biting her pillow in between grasps at sheets and low, semi-painful screams. He's got her bent over like an animal, grabbing her sides as he fully overpowers her, forcing her to speak.

"Father...is..."

No. No. No. No! It can't be! He cannot be the one doing this! I knew that man! He was my...

A flash of crimson stands out among the periwinkle lights in the tent, and I feel a cold, disparaging feeling wash over me as I lock eyes with him. Beast crumples to the bed, knocked out like she's just been in a brawl after what transpired. Sebastian stands up and places his coat back on his shoulders, walking towards me.

I break to run, but I know I'm not fast enough, no matter how strong I am among other humans.

I can't outrun a demon.

[A/N~ My apologies that this story is moving a bit more slowly than the Claude one when it comes to sensuality. It's harder for me to write it that way, in part due to the fact that it's tied to the Book of Circus arc, and I need time for the plot to make sense in accordance to that storyline. Still, it'll pick up here pretty soon! There's also some other surprises which will surely make it interesting.]