I Hate Everything About You

Ready to Go

{Sapphire's P.O.V}

"Are you ready?" A laugh I've come to recently admire accompanies the same question I've been asking myself over and over this afternoon.

Was I ready?

"You know it!" I turn and smile, and even I notice the gleam of the sunlight off of the multilayered blue getup I've been told to wear. The ginger hair of the man who recruited me only this morning catches the same rays in it, and I know we both must look so different from when we both were new here. I was just a lot newer.

"You're gonna go great, lass! You're right talented, ya are! How'd you ever learn to do tricks like ya do is beyond me!" He playfully hits my arm with his good one, and I notice the boney one oposite me is gaily hanging open.

"Thanks, Joker." I reply, trying my best to conceal my nervousness. He seems to not pick up on it. Thank God. "I'll be right back!" He smiles and waves as I head back without waiting for a dismissal. I needed to leave. I might be noticed too early.

Was I ready?
Was I ready?
Was I ready?

Yes. I stop to catch my breath. I didn't even realise I was running. I look around and try to remember what I was taught to do when I felt panic coming on. I look at the leaves on the trees, and I pay attention to my feet on the ground, the crunch of the grass beneath my shoes. I inhale and smell soap from the bathing areas, the crisp scent in the chilly air of fire and food, focusing on the heavier aroma of the better snacks for sale in the show tent. I listen and hear the flutter of wings and the soft cooing of birds in the branches. I touch the fabric of my outfit, a deep, sparkly blue color to match my quickly and ingeniously created performance persona. I feel better.

I am ready.

Sapphire is my name now, and I find comfort in the generalised yet fitting nature of it. There's no way my true aims at Noah's Ark will be found out without a good amount of effort. It's almost too perfect to believe.

Still, it won't be hard once he sees me. I know this place is where I'll finally get to see him again. Ciel. I saw him with his new butler. I saw him! I jump as the caw of a raven echoes through the nearby forest. It's ominous notes remind me of what else I've seen.

I hate him. I hate the new Phantomhive Butler. That's what I'm here for. I don't know how to avoid it any longer. I've been telling myself for so long that he's capable on his own, but after what I've seen, what I saw before Joker caught me and I had to show him that I could work here, I know I have to go back.

I just have to be careful about this. I'm ready now, though. I am.

I turn and walk back to the practice tent to meet with the members who will be starting
today. I'm one of them, and so is he. Sebastian Michaelis. I'll be finally face to face with him. They've arranged me last minute and I've had yet to meet the rest of the crew, as I'm meant to be a fun surprise to add to the days' newcomers. That'll work in my advantage, too.

I turn and look back to the woods. The raven's cry is gone, and all is silent. I inhale and exhale again, and I prepare to walk back to where I'll have to see them, and where I'll finally get what I've been waiting for this whole time.

I am ready.