dkla | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴷᴺᴶ

三

ㅡ ❝play it back & press rewind to when you traced your fingers, drew my spine.❞

ㅡ

"I'd never be happy without you."

And Namjoon really couldn't as the words kept echoing through his mind, haunting each other, one word louder than the next one. They were playing inside of his mind like a broken record, continuously and he wasn't able to stop it. He wouldn't even if he could, because stopping the words meant he would have to face reality and he couldn't, he refused to. Hoseok was gone and so was his will, his passion, his soul and his heart.

Hoseok left him. The letter in his hands was all that's left.

'Let's stay friends. You know I can't live without you.'

What's that even supposed to mean? Well, it was his own fault that Hoseok was gone. There was no one else to blame than he himself. He had fucked up, terribly.

The moment he had gotten home and no lights were greeting him hadn't worried him too much. He had been used to coming home to an already dark apartment since he'd always come home late and Hoseok would have already gone to bed just like that one time he had found him crying in his bed. He had promised to change and come home earlier, but he hadn't been able to keep his promise. He had come home later at night more often and due to that had neglected Hoseok, had offered their time together to his work. He hadn't been noticing it, but he was hurting his love deeply as the other asked himself every day if Namjoon was about to leave him. Eventually, Hoseok had decided that he couldn't deal with the constant worries and made up scenarios any longer. Not even the reassuring words of Namjoon had been helping anymore at that point. He had known better than to imagine scenarios in which Namjoon would be with his new lover, but he just hadn't been able to shut off his mind. He had been hurting, still was.

And so, that one night when Namjoon came home late again to a dark apartment, he found a letter on his bed instead of the person he loved the most. Namjoon's world shattered with every word he read. Hoseok was gone and there was nothing left.

'Let's stay friends.'

The words kept echoing in his head. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, but what he knew was that the pain in his chest grew with every second, became unbearable until he blacked out.