Good Golly My Little Lolly (Shikamaru Fanfic)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Lolly's Pov

   I looked down at the ground as Shikamaru stared at me. I knew that he was supremely mad at me and I knew that I deserved it as well. The only thing was, how was this going to turn out?
   Opening my mouth to speak he held up his hand. Shutting my mouth once again I squirmed as the silence continued. I think that the silence is worse than someone screaming at you because when it's slient you reflect back on what all you've done and how stupid you were.

"Why?"

   One simple question was enough to make me feel like stabbing myself just to get out of this situation. Why? Why indeed was the question.

"I... Shikamaru I-"

"Do you even know how much it hurt me to know that you left? You are so troublesome and you don't even seem to realize such!"

"Yeah well we haven't exactly been getting along the best now have we!"

"What happened to the Lolly that I liked? What happened to the girl that would tell me her problems and we'd work though it? What happened to her?"

   All I could do was just look at Shikamaru. I knew that he was right; I had changed but I didn't know if it was for better or worse... However seeing the look that he was giving me made me know now that it was most likely for worse.
   He sighed and ran a hand over his hair. He sat back in his chair and just looked out the window. "So what now?" He asked. I looked at him and just shook my head. He looked back at me but I refused to look him in the eyes.

"Fine, I'll tell you what. It's over. I think that you and I need to split up because I can't deal with such a troublesome woman as you. Besides you've made it quite clear that you don't need me for anything." 

"Shika-"

"Don't bother because there's nothing that you can say."

   With that Shikamaru got up and stormed out of the room. Once all was silent I sat there in bed and stared at the wall. My chest was hurting deeply and my heart throbbed painfully. Inside me I heard something snap and I knew that it was my heart. Breathing suddenly began to get painful and I covered my heart over with my hands in a feeble attempt to ease the burden.
   The door opened again and comforting arms were wrapped around me. It was then that I broke. Tears flowed from my eyes as I buried my head in Fuu's shoulder and just wailed. All of the pain that was in my heart was transformed into sorrowful tears that I soaked into Fuu's shirt. I just wailed and cried and didn't care who heard.
   "Shh... Shh, it'll get better honey. I promise it does get better." Fuu whispered to me gently. I sniffled and then began to bawl again. It just hurt so bad. I really did care for him beyond all of our fights and differences. I would even go so far as to say that I loved him. Yet he took my heart and ripped it from my chest.

"H-How? I-I cared for him s-so much!" I sobbed.

"I know... I know." Fuu whispered as she stroked my hair gently.

   We stayed like that for I don't know how long. Hours burned by but I still was sobbing my heart from my chest. Though I did settle down as day burned away into night. Fuu eventually got hungry so I sent her out to eat. I knew that she didn't want to leave me like this but there was no reason for both of us to suffer.
   Once I was alone I laid down on my bed and stared at the wall numbly. Why did I have to have such a complicated life?

Shikamaru's Pov

   Shikamaru listened to Lolly's crying with a heavy heart. He didn't like to hear her cry but what she did was just down right angering. Everytime that he thought about it Shikamaru would feel some of that rage boil up in his stomach.
   No matter how much he wanted to just run in there and hug her he knew that he couldn't. Besides they weren't together anyways. As he heard Fuu keep speaking to her he just shook his head and walked out of the house. His heart contracted painfully the farther he got from Lolly. He wanted to go in there and be there for her but he just couldn't. 
   He sighed and looked up to the sky with a troubled face. It was times like this when he wished that he had Asuma to confide in.
   Shikamaru growled and then clutched his head and sat down. All the while he was repeating to himself that he was doing what was best for the both of them.

Lolly's Pov

   I looked up at the clear night sky with emotionless eyes. I wasn't even sure how long it had been since I had abandoned my bed in favor of a walk. I then closed my eyes and chuckled bitterly, Fuu most certainly is going out of her mind to try and figure out where I've disappared to. 
   If I was feeling any better I might've been concerned but not right now. Right now I just needed to be away from everything and just sit.

"You know that they will be worried about you right?"

   I looked back and saw Granny Mei looking at me. Her face was hard but her eyes betrayed her. They showed sadness and compassion in them.

"I just needed to get away."

"You should be more careful. Leaders always be careful of their decisions and think about what they're doing."

"I know that."

"Then why are you acting so poorly?"

"Listen, I'm young. I don't... I didn't have the preparation that you did! I know that I'm acting like a poor leader but I can't be strong all the time! People think that I'm so amazing but the truth is that I'm just like everyone else; I love, I cry, and I am weak!"

   Granny Mei just looked on at me without saying a word. I knew that she was now even more disappointed with me but I couldn't help it.

"Further more, I don't have the skills to be a leader. I wish I did... I wish that I could make Soren see things differently but... but that's not the reality of things. Believe me if I could I would be the leader that everyone wants but to do that I'd have to become everything that I'm not... and I can't do that."

"Very good. To be honest is important and to speak your mind is even more so. You're closer to gaining the Claveiza than you think."

   Before I could say anything she turned and walked back from whence she came. All I could really do was just watch her form and wonder what she was really meaning. If she was really being truthful then I'd have the Claveiza in my grasp and hopefully be able to hold my own against Soren.
   Looking up at the rising sun I sighed and got to my feet. I think it was time that I visited Masamune and Nadeshiko to come up with a plan of attack.

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Kaisa-Chan: Ok, here's the chappie. I know its a bit boring buuuuuuutttt.... yeah...

Shino: .........................

Kaisa-Chan: Ok, I don't own Naruto, good bye.