Tear In my Heart (Joshler)

.:XXXVII:.

Seven Week's have passed since my major bone marrow surgery and to say I was starting to feel healthier was an understatement. Despite still being attached to an oxygen tank and cannula my body felt like it was getting stronger each week. 

My doctors and Jackie have set me up on medication that'll need too take twice a day, two pills at once to help avoid any further infections and complications with my immune system which is't bad I guess.

Luckily I'll be able to go home well to Josh's home in a few days since I've reacted well to the surgery which was just over a month ago.Talking about Josh, he has no left my side once since I've still been in hospital, I've tried to convince him to go home and sleep but he's stubborn. Jackie allows him to sleep with me and shower in the bathroom attached to my room. 

Josh had dyed his hair blood red a few weeks ago, he let me pick the colour since he's adorably nice, I chose red because I know we both adore the colour. My hair has started to grow back slowly, Its gaining to usual floof back and I'm able to run my finger through it slightly still careful not to pull any out. 

Another good note was that Blurry hadn't popped up much any more, beside's in my dreams well nightmares but he never spoke when I was conscious and barely any negative thoughts littered my mind any more, perhaps the surgery killed them off. 

I was pulled from my trains of thought when Jackie's voice piped up in the room. Adverting my gaze from my lap I met Jackie's bright smile which she's managed to keep this whole time which was very impressive since most days I was a depressed lump in the hospital blankets but she didn't mind at all. 

Josh and I sat up holding hands as we locked eye's with her.

"very good news boys, I was doing some talking to the head doctors up in the unit, I was able to convince them that your are healthy and strong enough to go home" She smiled causing Josh to fist pump the air as I let a toothy grin spread over my face. I turned to my side wrapping my arms around my boyfriend tightly. He kissed my temple delicately.

"How soon?" I asked turning my attention back to Jackie. She smiled glancing at her clipboard before giddily explaining. 

"Today Tyler Today you are a free man" I felt like my heart was about to jump from my chest. I was going home today. Tonight I'll be in bed with my boyfriend, cuddling and watching movies because I am now a healthy teenager besides the mental part though. Finally life was starting to turn around. 

"Are you serious?" Josh couldn't believe her words either. See they explained how patients like I usually stay in hospital over a bone marrow transplant for at least 3-4 months but I'm going home tonight. Jackie nodded smiling.

"Ready to go home bubby" I nodded with excitement about going home to an actual bed with the love of my life. 

"You'll still need the oxygen tank for another few months or so though Tyler keep that in mind okay" I nodded not really bothered about the tank.

The tank actually helps with sleeping, when Josh in asleep and I'm still awake or blurry is scratching at my mind, I listen to the rumble of the tank with every breath I take, it slowly sends me to sleep after focusing on that for minutes on end. 

-

Jackie gave me a sweet warming hug and Josh as well as we stood at the entrance of the hospital, I grew used to this building since I spent so long staring out the windows of the building.

Jackie order that I come back every three weeks for checks ups but other wise I'm free.Leaving the hospital I smelt the fresh air of Ohio that I had missed so much, the smell of rain and freshly cut grass filled my nose making me smile greatly.

The ride home was pleasant, Josh held my hand as we sang softly to a thousand year, well I sang and Josh listened stroking the back of my hand with his thumb which always makes me feel mushy on the inside.The song reminded me of my mother when we sang together but I didn't let the memories ruin my good mood. 

Pulling into his drive way, I unbuckled my seat belt pulling my tank out with me, dragging it along the footpath to his door.

When we got inside I was engulfed into a tight hug from Mr.s Dun, she kissed my cheek smiling warmly.

"Awh Tyler so good to see you home and healthy" My chest swelled hearing her calling her home my home. I never felt like I was at home with my real family but here I did, I felt like I belonged here despite Mr.Dun sending annoyed glares to me I was happy here.

"Thankyou Mr.s Dun"

"Don't be silly call me Mumma Dun" She smiled making me smile, Josh wrapped an arm around shoulders kissing my cheek.

Soon after Josh dragged me up stairs shutting the door softly. I laid on the bed letting the softness engulf me, I felt like I was on a cloud since the bed I spent the pass three months on felt like a rock.I let my tank rest by the bed, I didn't need it much, Like I could walk with out it but he gave me extra support on my slightly weaken lungs.

Wasn't long before Josh jumped on the bed attacking me with warm wet kisses along my neck making me giggle.Reaching up I gripped Josh's new red hair, twirled his soft locks in between my fingers tugging his softly. Finally he trailed his lips up to mine, catching mine in a soft and much needed kiss.

Our lips moved in sync perfectly until he managed to slip his warm tongue pass my lips attacking my own, the kiss went from sweet and passionate to a rather wet messy kiss but we wanted this, we needed this.

After moments of kissing and enjoying each other's passion and body warmth Josh pulled away holding my face softly, gazing at my lovingly, his dark mocha eyes piercing my dull brown ones.

"I love you so much"

"I love you too" I whispered catching his lips in another kiss.

Josh moved from me,Standing up from the bed he pulled me up from the mattress. 

"Tyler I have a important question to ask" I giggled at his dorkiness as we stood in the middle of his room wrapped around each other.

"Okay Sure" I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Will you accompany on a date tonight?" He smiled as my heart swelled at his question. Josh and I have never been on a date before since I've been sick basically the whole time we've dated.  

I nodded excitedly feeling the cord on my cannula smack against my leg.

"Of course you dork" I smiled kissing Josh one final time. 

Checking the clock on the wall he smiled before kissing my nose.

"Well since you agreed to make tonight special. I better get everything set up" He smiled pulling himself away from me.

"I'll back soon okay, get some sleep in the mean time" He kissed my lips before leaving me too stand in his room alone before I moved back to the bed needing some sleep. 

I laid my self back in his bed, the scent of smoke and vanilla filled my nose. I had missed the smell of his blankets, it made me feel safe. 

I fell asleep slowly to the sound of my tank rumbling and a smile of my lips thinking about tonight.