Feelings

(14)

*Warning: Bad content/sexual*

Pony Boy

I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room. I had only myself to deal with now. I didn't know what to do. I had this bulge in my pants and it won't go away. And now it's uncomfortable.

How did it go away before?

The guys had stroked it in their hand while they pumped inside of me. Then I released this fluid. I really don't want to do something like that.

Knock, Knock.

"Ponyboy, it's me, Soda. Can you let me in?"

"Umm. . . no, I'm kinda busy." I really didn't want him to see me this way. I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't want to see this either.

As I heard his footsteps go back down their stairs, I sat on the foot of my bed on the floor, convincing myself that there was no other way to get rid of this.

"Ok, I can do this," I whispered to myself.

I pulled down my pants and underwear down to my knees, to release my throbbing member. I touched a clammy hand to my minnie me. I was so nervous. Can I even hurt myself?

Oh my god, I'm being stupid now. Of course I would feel it if I hurt myself.

I touched the tip and messed with it. It was very sensitive.

I tried to remember what those guys did. They stroked it putting more pressure on the tip than at the base.

I tried to mimic what was done to me before. It actually felt really good.

Knock. Knock.

Before I could contain it, I let out a moan. I stopped stroking myself. Did they hear?

"Pony what are you doing?"

It was Darry.

"Nothing, go away. I'm busy."

I thought that I heard his footsteps retreat and then I returned to help myself.

I couldn't contain my moans. It felt so good.

"Pony. What. Are. You. Doing?" Darry said.

I thought he was gone. What was I supposed to say? I can't tell him that I was jerking off.

"I'm coming in."

"Nooo!"

Darry busted in, ignoring my words. I froze and so did he. I blushed fiercely. Darry was the same way as me.

I was so embarrassed. It's not everyday that your brother walks in when you're jerking off. But it's my fault. I should have probably locked the door... if I had a lock.

"Umm. Do you mind?"

"N-no. Not at all." He left the room without saying another word. Thank god.

I continued what I started, almost reaching my climax - I think that is what it is called - before my door swung open.

Holy shit. I really need to get a lock.

Johnny was standing in my doorway with his hair wet and body wet from taking a shower. He only had on jeans. With his shirt off I could really see all of his scars. I wonder how far underneath his jeans the scars stretch.

What the hell am I doing? Johnny is my friend. I shouldn't be wondering what he looks like underneath his jeans.

"I'm s-sorry. I just came in here to get a shirt since all of mine are in the wash," Johnny said, blushing.

"It's fine. Go right ahead."

My best friend quickly grabbed a shirt and scurried out of here.

Seeing Johnny just got me even more hot and bothered. I don't understand. I'm not gay. Just sometime last year, I loved Cherry Valence. I haven't really seen her since the hearing though. Our differences came between us; her eyes had turned green. And, a few weeks ago, when I visited M&M, I was pretty friendly with his sister Cathy. Angela Shepard also got me in a mood just a week ago. There is no way that I am gay. There's just no way.

I tried to test my theory by thinking of naked girls as I jerked off - every soft curve made me turn hard, but it was hard work keeping it that way. And then, I thought of a naked Johnny and I turned stiff - no problems keeping it, only getting rid of it.

What the hell is wrong with my body? I can't have feelings for a guy. And more importantly, I can't have feelings for my best friend. If they find out, they might send me to a mental hospital!

This is all wrong.

***
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-DMBW