The Letters

Chapter 9: Letter Four

Rose's P.O.V.

I drive back to my house because I know my parents aren't home and Rae isn't stable to be on her own at the moment.

"I hate him so much. He's such an asshole." She mumbles as we pull into my driveway.

I sigh and get out of the car and she does the same. When we get into my house we go straight to my room and lie on my bed.

"I know you hate him, Rae but he misses her as much as we do and he's going through the same thing as we are. Whether you want to believe it or not, they were in love. Nathan didn't take advantage of Paige; I'm sure she wanted it as much as he did." I say to her.

She sighs and nod then I hand her the envelope Nathan gave me.

"Paige wrote this for you." I mumble and she takes it from me.

Rae's P.O.V.

I open up the envelope and take the letter out, take a deep breath, then begin reading it out loud.

"Dear Rae,

First off, I want you to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I know we've only been friends for a little while but I feel like I've known you for my whole life. Second, I'm really sorry, love.

I remember the first day we started talking. You and Rose made an imagine account for our boys on Instagram and I was going to co-own it too; we instantly clicked. No matter how much you deny it, everyone knows you really are a directioner. You're such an amazing writer too.

I know you hate Nathan but I love him and you probably know by now that yes we did have sex but he didn't force me to. He would never do anything like that; I wanted it too. Please try to be nice to him. This is hard on him too. I'm really depending on you and Rose to make sure he's okay and he has to the same job too; to make sure you and Rose are okay. If you get to know him, you'll realize what a sweet guy he can be.

Enough about that. I know you and I know you're going to blame yourself and say that you could have done something about this but that's not true. My mind was made up way before I even met you. It's not your fault, Rae; there was nothing you could have done. But now I need you to keep your head up and keep on smiling. That's what I want and need you to do. I want you to be happy. You're beautiful, Rae. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Whether you want to believe it or not I'm still there with you. Maybe not physically but I'll be looking down on you to make sure you're doing okay. You need to be happy for me okay?

Thank you for always being there for me when I needed you.

I love you, never forget that.

Love,

Paige xo"

I put the letter that's now soaked in my tears down and turn to Rose who is also crying. I lean my head on her shoulder as I try to control my breathing from crying so much. After a few minutes my tears have stopped and I sit up.

"I'm going to go home now." I tell Rose.

"Are you sure? You can sleepover if you want." She says.

"No it's fine, I'm fine. I just want to be alone right now. Text or call me if you need anything." I say and give her a quick hug before I walk out of her room and downstairs.

I decide to walk home since I live close enough and it's not dark yet and it's not that cold. When I get home I go straight up to my room and get into bed; I don't even bother changing. I pull the letter out of my pocket and read it over and over again until I can't see anymore from my tears blurring my vision.

"Rae, you can't do this to yourself." A voice says.

I look up and see Paige sitting on the edge of my bed looking at me.

"Paige?" I say very confused.

"Hi love." She says with a soft smile.

"You're dead." I say still confused.

"Yes I am." She says and moved so she's sitting next to me.

"This puts be a dream. You're all in my head." I mumble and rub my eyes.

"Think what you want, hun." Paige says with a small laugh. "Anyways, I thought I told you in my letter that I wanted you to be happy for me?"

"You do but you're gone. It's hard to be happy." I say and look up at her.

"I know it is, love but I need you to be. Remember all the happy memories we had together not the sad ones. I lived a good life; it was just my time to go." She says.

"But why, Paige?! So many people love you so much! You didn't have to do this!" I say a little too loudly.

"Yeah I know; it was selfish of me but it took away the pain. I escaped and that's what I needed. It hurt a lot of people but the pain will go away for them, the pain never went away for me and I couldn't take it anymore. I'm sorry, Rae." She explains and I sigh.

"I just miss you so much." I say and feel the tears coming back.

"I miss you too but I am still here. You may think I'm in your head but whenever you need me I'm still here you just won't always be able to see you. It's time for me to go now, love. I love you, Rae. Take care of Rose for me." Paige says and hugs be tightly before disappearing in front of my eyes.

I turn over onto my other side and the second my eyes close I fall into a deep sleep.

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Hope you like it, loves :)

-Emmie xx