ENVY// AMBW

7.

5/20/16

I'll be leaving in exactly five days. School's over and now I don't know what to do with myself. I don't get to see Namjoon as often since he's interning now which is fine, but I wish we had more time together. I mean, I'm leaving in a few days and he's always gone before I get up and when he gets back, it's practically midnight.

I just feel as if I'm hindering him from growth.

On another topic, he never gave me the box back. He's been holding onto it on to side of the bed and any time I bring it up, he'd scold me. He's too cute, I don't deserve him.

I've finished my packing days ago and I have my ticket purchased. A new life awaits me. I don't want to start another one but I have to. Long distance relationships suck and I know that that's not going to work. I mean, it is possible, but I know the time difference is going to screw us over.

Overall, I'm so excited! I haven't been able to go home in four years! Four! This is amazing, so amazing! I'm going to get to see my momma and my dad. Apparently, momma planned something for me coming home and it's supposed to be something big. I can't wait!

I wish Dimples could be there beside me in America.

Well...there's not much to write today, so I'll just end it here.

I was alarmed when I felt long arms wrap around my waist as I closed my journal up. "You been writing in there there a lot lately." Namjoon whispered in my ear, soothingly. I smiled soaking up his warmth and gentleness," So you've been paying attention?"

He let me go and spun me around so that I was facing him. "How can I not pay attention to you when you are the light of my world?" My face got hot and I covered my face in embarrassment. He always had a way with saying things. Always.

Lately, I've found myself wrapped effortlessly around his fingers. I found myself doing things I normally wouldn't do on a regular basis for him. It wasn't a bad thing. I guess it was a subconscious way of me saying that I appreciate him.

"So I've been thinking lately, that we should go to Nami Island." Namjoon offered me eagerly. I've heard of Nami Island. Where did I hear this from? Hmm...?

"I believe I've heard of that place, but I don't know where that is." I responded wondering where this conversation was going to lead. Clearly he wanted me to accompany him on such a trip but what was his real reason? He was never much of an expensive trip kind of guy anyways.

"Would you like to go? Since it's your last days here, I would like to make it as memorable as possible so that you'll never forget me." I could see that he was imploring with his eyes. It meant a lot to him, for me to come, but deep down I knew that it was more than that.

He feared that I would forget him over the years of being in America and him being so far away. He feared having me belong to someone else, knowing that someone else is the cause of my smile. It burned deep down in my chest that he could think such a thing. I belonged to him, with all my heart and soul.

"Yes, Namjoon. I would love to accompany you." I smiled sadly, trying to hide my sudden unhappiness. Within seconds, his concern was erased from his facial expression and was filled with enthusiasm. "Great! We leave today!" He announced.

We arrived at Nami Island later that day. The island was very vibrant and alive as we walked upon it. There were so many things we could do that it amazed me. The first thing that we did was go on this bicycle rail-road thing. It was very exhausting trying to peddle on a railroad in a bunch of heat, but it was worth it. Namjoon and I took many pictures of the scenery and every once in awhile, I would catch him snapping pictures of me.

The whole ride lasted about an hour or two. The next thing we did was go to this cute little interpretation of Paris. Overall, we ended up staying the whole day playing with animals, and enjoying the presence of one another. Eventually, the Sun began to set; we hadn't even boarded the boat back to the mainland.

"Shouldn't we be heading back home now?" I asked him as we ate some candy. The light flicked around us and began to get darker which created shadows on face. He chewed slowly until finally his deep voice filled the air,"There's something I need you to see."

Right that minute, the lights turned into an assortment of colors. The many lights captivated me as we began our walk on the trail. There were so many lights, all of them different colors shaped like animals or angel wings.

Namjoon stopped me at a bench and motioned for me to sit down. He sat down beside me," So I've been thinking lately about how much you mean to me. I just want you to know that you are the Sun of which I rotate upon. Without you, the water of my many seas do not move and I am left feeling emptiness. Without you, I have no warmth, that of which your skin brings me when you slowly rub my back. You are the reason I get up in the mornings. I love you, Nala. So very much actually, that I wanted to do this..."

My eyes started watering when he said all of those things. Namjoon then reached into his pants pocket and took something out. It was a deep purple covered rectangular box. "Here. Open it, it's for you." I slowly took the box from out of his soft hands.

Was he proposing to me?

I opened the box and to my dismay, it was not a four karat ring, but a necklace. "It's beautiful Namjoon. Thank you." He gestured for me to come closer to him so that he could put it on for me.

"This is just a reminder for you to not forget about me." I looked into his dark eyes when he said this, trying to contain my overwhelming emotions. "How could I ever forget about you Namjoon? You're the only one that understands me."

He gradually moved towards my face and met my warm lips. The tears I tried to contain, spilled out quickly.

"I'll never forget you...never." I pulled away, whispering into the kiss.

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