|Band Slut| Ashton Centric✔️

«Chapter 7»

Ashton
I laughed dryly and shook my head. "Yeah. Just fuck buddies." I laughed bitterly again and the boys seemed confused.

"You're right, we're just fuck buddies, it was my fault. I was the one who misunderstood." I walked by them and Calum sighed.

"Ashton that came out wrong, I didn't mean-"

"No. You're right. I'm a slut, I might give you a disease, you're just being safe." I said bitterly.

"Ashton we didn't-"

"No. It's fine. I'm just gonna go out for a bit."

"Look Ashton we were just saying-"

"I get what you were saying okay?! You made it pretty clear." I walked to the door, pulling my shoes back on. I quickly walked out and slammed the door shut behind me.

Who the hell did they think they were? They're dick heads, the whole lot of them. To be honest they were the only people I've ever bottomed for, and I didn't plan on changing that so, I hope that puts their fears to rest for now.

Yet as I stepped in the elevator and saw my reflection in the mirror, well I didn't realize I was crying until then. They were right.

I was a slut.

I had slept with only a few people before in my life, really only two others besides the boys. (5 didn't make me a tramp did it?)

I only kept up this act because if people assumed I was a slut then I wasn't going to correct them. It was totally true, I've admitted it before and I'll admit it again, I was a slut.

But I was only a slut when it came to the boys.

I was my bands personal slut. I was a...I was a band slut.

I'd been called one before and it never fazed me. Yet for some reason it hurt when the boys called me that. With others it went right over my head because I knew it wasn't true, and the boys knew it wasn't true so it was okay.

But when the boys called me that it shattered everything and stabbed me in the heart.

Because I'd very much rather they call me their princess or kitten, not their slut because I didn't want to be a slut...I just happened to fall in love with three of my best mates.

Although I promised I wouldn't catch feelings when we started this whole damn thing and I was right to promise myself that because look what happened. Yet...they still managed to somehow sneak in under the wire.

And I hated that.

I hated that because now I had these weird feelings when I saw them and it made me want to change things about myself for them. It made me want to cry all the time from something so small that they said that could be misinterpreted. They made my stomach do flips from just a smile, they made me feel all these things I've never felt before and I was scared and hurt and I just wanted it to stop because they made my head spin and I couldn't think right around them.

I didn't know where I was going but I needed to get away from the boys. I needed to get away from them and I needed to think about this whole thing clearly.

They never wanted to talk about the situation when I wanted to.

They said we were only fuck buddies. Not even friends with benefits.

They treated me like their boyfriend sometimes but I guess I misinterpreted that, I probably made it all up in my head.

They say all these things and they treat me so kindly and they give me gentle touches and they comfort me when I need it but they don't want to be my boyfriend. They don't want to be anything but a quick fuck.

And if that's how they wanted it then fine. I could play this way too.

If going to a club and trying to make them jealous isn't enough then I'll just have to try harder, step up my game.

Because I may not have realized it till now but I didn't want to be their friend anymore.

I didn't want to be friends with benefits, or just a one night stand or anything like that.

I wanted them to be my boyfriends.

And, damn, it all made sense now. I was falling hard for my three best friends, yet they weren't even looking my way.

So, okay yeah, I was going to step up my game.

With that in mind I quickly wiped my tears and sniffled. I walked back to the hotel and when I walked into the room, all three boys jumped up.

Oh how nice. They waited for me.

They rushed out apologies but I just walked past them and to my bed.

"Ashton?"

I ignored them and laid down, curling up in the warm blankets.

"Ashton please talk to us." Luke said.

I just turned my lamp off and closed my eyes.

"Ashton please."

"We're really sorry."

The only thing I muttered to them was, "I'm tired. Night."

Me too. I'm really sorry too.