Do we really need love?

Rehab

Of course I met Seth on tinder. Oh and disclaimer... I can't talk to guys in person. I don't flirt. Eh, I can't flirt. It's like this trait was never given to me. If I like someone I kind of run away and hide. So I was speaking to Seth for about a week. He was 21 and I was 19. I thought it was so cool that this older guy was talking to me. So one day I met him near the train station nearby. I was so nervous. When I met him, we just walked and talked, thinking back, I can't really remember what we talked about. We stopped at the nearest Walgreens and he went to buy e-cigarettes. Now I find cigarettes disgusting and I do not want to kiss an astray but shit happens and it was exciting. Also this bum told me he was quitting. Fucking liar. I went home after that, all giddy that I went on a date.

I saw him again twice that week. We watched movies at my dorm, and just hung out. We still hadn't even kissed! So it was great! Then one day he invited me to his place and I went and made him buy me alcohol. Ya know because this is stupid America and the legal age is 21. So he bought it for my alcohol crazed self and I told him to drink some with me. We went into the bedroom of his one bedroom apartment and we were going to sleep. Finally, he kissed me. It was actually really nice. Things started getting heavy and I could tell he wanted more. But since I had only been with one guy I stopped it. He got mad and all I could think was wtf. We just met and you're already mad that I said no to sex? Well apparently, I was stupid because the next day when I left, I messaged him. He told me that he thought I didn't like him because I didn't sleep with him. Speak of dramatic. Eventually I went back, and we did the deed. It was good an all but I'm pretty sure he had erectile dysfunction. Everytime he stuck it in it would bend a little. It was never fully hard. I think it's the cigarettes. Eventually, he wanted a relationship and because I just got out of one I said no. Then he went back to his ex! Wtf. So we were friends? Who hung out for a week then I got jealous and said "fine, I'll be your girlfriend" Can you believe that! I felt pressured into being in a relationship. And before you judge me and say "but you're complaining about not having a guy" let me tell you a few things about Seth. 

1. He just came out of rehab

2. He dropped out of college

3. He was an alcoholic

4. He was an actual alcoholic because I went to AA meetings with him

5. He was moody as hell

6. He has erectile dysfunction people!

Now I know these might not seem like a big deal to you experienced people but for me it was! I was very sheltered before and thought drugs was done only in movies. So between all of this I didn't want to be involved. But I did anyway. Stupid jealousy. Eventually, he met this girl Cathy in rehab. She was in there for meth or something, I don't know. And she started texting him everyday. So I asked him about it and told him he was acting different. He called me crazy and ended things. Two weeks later, Facebook says, 'in a relationship'. Crazy my ass. Word of advice... if you feel like something is wrong, it probably is. I deleted him from Facebook, lost my freshman 15 pounds, and then added him back. He messaged me saying he wanted me back and that the girl was crazy. Sucker. Made me feel so good when I said "LOL. No" though. And then there was Louis.