a poor woman's tale offendermanXreader

Strange noises

"No Patrick, you can't feed Gary mayonnaise!" ...this show is weird.....  But it's entertaining I guess. I kinda like the thought of spongebob and Sandy getting together but it's never going to happen. I stretch out my arms and legs by raising them up and then crashing them back down on the couch, making a little noise. who knew this could be so boring..? maybe I should eat, I haven't in a while... I walk over to the kitchen and look through the draws, finding only silverware and other things that aren't edible. I check the cabinets and find cereal, "Frooty O's" to be exact. How weird..... is reminds me of fruit loops and cheerios are the same time. It must be good... I make a bowl of the cereal and sit at the counter, eating it slowly and cooking my head back after each bite to watch tv. After watching for a good minute I look back at my bowl and take a bite, savoring it's flavor. It tastes like fruit dipped in honey- strawberries mostly. I kinda taste a little watermelon with it but it's basically just strawberries. I cock my head back again and notice that the TV I was watching is turned off. That's strange, I didn't turn it off. Maybe something fell on the remote...? I walk back over to it and search for the remote but don't see anything. Where did it go? it's not under the couch, on the table, near the tv, or even in the living room at all. Maybe I took it to the kitchen...? I spend a few minutes opening cabinets and drawers and searching the counters but find nothing. I sigh and sit back down to my cereal, finding the remote next to the bowl. What? I know I didn't leave it here.... oh well, I guess I'm crazy. That's to be expected when your kidnapped and forced to watch people die. I put my bowl in the sink and rinse it out by splashing water in it and dumping it in the drain. The couch moves as I flop on it and turn the TV back on. It's still good old spongebob. I watch him and Patrick annoy Squidward for a few minutes before becoming bored of his yellow figure. "why can't you and sandy just kisssss?" I say, a little annoyed. their standing next to each other, why can't they just fall in love? We can all see it... I sigh and lay down on the couch, letting my arm hang off as if it melted to the furniture. I hear a little scratch and look up, asking "hello?". I see nothing.... maybe I AM insane.... being insane can't be that bad, it could be OK. I laugh at my own stupidity and lay back down. What, is some random person watching me or something? Im being paranoid

Lui pov

"have you completed your task?"

"yes, Lord zalgo. She seems to be oblivious- she wouldn't notice anything we set up"

"excellent. do you remember the plan?"

"yes. I must try to befriend her and convince her to join us because you must have a bride"

"good. now go, do as you were told  bring me my bride"

Your pov

I'm kinda tired to be honest. I got plenty of sleep but I'm just so bored I can't do anything but sleep. I force my eyes to stay open but fail, almost falling asleep. Luckily- and oddly- there is a knock at the door. I stand up and walk to the door, opening it and giving the stranger a friendly "hello". He smiles and I observe what he looks like- brown hair, blue eyes, and a warm smile. "hi! I'm here to talk to you, is it OK if I come in?" He asks, still smiling. "oh... are you sure your here for me? I'm kinda... new here" I ask, letting my arm rest on the frame of the door. He laughs and says "yes, I'm sure. I would like to talk to YOU, (y/n)". how does he know my name...? Maybe offender was bragging about his new proxy... "oh, well come on in then!" I move aside and let him walk in, guiding him to the couch and sitting down with him. "thank you for you kindness- I know offender would have let me in" he says with a smile. wait... did I do something bad? "why wouldn't he let you in..?" I ask, cautiously staring at him. "oh he doesn't like me much, nothing big really. anyway I wanted to ask you why your here.... why are you in this mansion?" He asks. I sigh and say "kidnapped. now I'm getting used to it- I even got him to let Alex move in!". He chuckles and says "well you don't have to be here, you can come live with me and my boss! we have a room made for you and everything! and you would get to marry lord zalgo, too! he's a nice guy if you don't count all the murdering and death!". wait...what? "umm... no thanks... it's a nice offer hut I don't want to marry someone I don't know and I'm 17.... also it's bad to follow strangers to houses if they say you can live with them" I say politely. He seems to lose a little bit of his smile but says "oh...OK! Well........ I'm sorry to hear that!......I'll try to keep my fingers.....! Thanks for letting me in, (y/n)!" and walks out. Wait... 'try to keep my fingers'? that's a weird expression.... I've never heard it before. maybe it's new? Oh well. I lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling. Maybe I should tell offender...? wait, he might hurt them if knows we talked. I'll keep this to myself.... for the strangers sake. Maybe I should've asked his name? well he's gone now.... perhaps a different time. I count the spots on the ceiling and sigh, getting to 213. I let myself dose off, it turning into a full on nap.