SILENT RIVERS

BURNT BRIDGES

I can't believe she just cancelled last night on me. . I can't help but wonder if she really loves me. She was the first person I've ever said those words to. And it hurts me even more to know that deep down, i meant them.

I've been walking for 3 hours now. In the pouring rain. It feels right. For some reason. As i near Matthew's house, i notice a short person dancing in the rain outside.
An intoxicating laugh pervades the air ,as she twists and turns in the pouring rain.
Her short curly hair clings to the back of her kneck and forehead , her clothes to her skin. I stand there smiling for a while , admiring the free spirit she possessed.

" I'd sure like to have her life", i smiled to myself and continued walking.

****************************

"Well you look like crap", Matthew commented on my appearance as i came out of his bathroom in clean, dry clothes.

" I know", i sighed plopping down in the chair around his computer desk.

"So she just cancelled on you?" He asked.

" Just like that", i told him.

" I would love to say i told you so but i don't kick a man when he's down", he laughed.

"Thank you?" I replied.

"How are things at home?" He asked after minutes of silence.

"Do the conditions in Hell ever change?" I asked  closing my eyes for a second .

"Not that i know of", he chuckled throwing me a can soda.

"Then you know you're answer", i told him.

Sometimes i wish that by closing my eyes and reopening them, i would open them to find a brand new life.

Belive me I've tried more times than i can count, but here i am anyways. Stuck in hell.

"What about Dillan and Justin and the rest?" He asked.

"I haven't seen them since lunch", i told him.

"I feel your pain man, but you gotta do what you gotta do. You need to get your grades up and stop wasting your time at parties. Your life won't get any better if you don't do something".

"I know", i sighed.

"No! I know isn't good enough. What the hell does that mean?"

"Matthew my mother is at home you know", i replied in irritation.

"Obviously there's no one of the female gender here", he shot back,"but what you need to do is get your shit together".

"And stop the damn smoking", he shouted grabbing the cigars from me before walking out of the room.

****************************

Matthew's words stained my mind. So much that they plagued me all night long. I need to get my shit together.

Forget about the friends i thought i had and move on.

From now on they're nothing but burnt bridges.

I guess I'm on my own now.

I wish I'd known earlier that i was swimming with fake friends.

And funny enough  these were the people I'd spent my time with.

"Wasting your time", a voice in my head corrected me.

I gathered my stuff and told Matthew later.

***********†****************

"Where were you?"my dad's voice boomed as I walked into the house.

"Somewhere peaceful, where i can actually sleep", i replied grabbing a can of soda from the refrigerator.

"Your mom left", he sighed.

"Can  you blame her?" I asked climbing the stairs.

"Where's JoJo?" I asked.

"She took her", he told me looking wistfully through the window.

"Good night", I replied heading straight for my room.

"Why me?" I sighed flipping the light switch.
Everyone keeps leaving all of a sudden. I wonder whose next. After all ,my life doesn't feel right now; it feels messsd up. And it doesn't seem like it'll be getting any better any time soon.