SILENT RIVERS

Dark Tide

Noah's POV

"I can't help but wonder if my life is even worth it anymore ".

It's been 3 weeks and two days since she left. And i haven't heard from her. I wonder how JoJo is doing. I hope she's happy.

My dad's been working overtime so he hardly ever comes home.

I don't mind though. Atleast i won't have to shout until my throat hurts and think until i have a massive headache every night.

Tonight it's just me , my homework and a bowl of mac and cheese.

I still haven't budged to meet with the weird girl yet for my literature assignment.

Everyone but Cara speaks to me ; and she's right there across the table from me.

I hear the key turn in the door. And the painful reality that my beloved father is about to walk through the door.

I immediately feel a sinking in my stomach.

I get up from the table and head upstairs without hesitation.

I am in no mood to argue. We've been at it for Weeks.
And to be honest I'm kinda tired. Tired of my life, tired of all the bullshit, tired of all there is to be tired of.

I slam my room door shut, so hard that the things on my dresser fall down .

I ignore the clattering and the heavy footsteps of my Father roaming the kitchen.

I plug my earphones in and turn the volume up to the Max; so loud that if you were screaming my name in earshot i wouldn't here.

It drowns out some of the unbearable realities that afflict my mind. If only music could solve my problems!

The rythmn reminds me of the ocean. I like it there. I used to wish i could be free like the waves. Free to go and come. But now i realize that there is no freedom in paths of the waves. For they can only come so far ashore.
And will always be confined.

Story of my life.

I've got to get outta here. I just have to. There's a dark tide rising in my mind. And soon the waves will swell until they have no choice but to set themselves free by force. And i don't want to be like him. I promised I'd never do drugs and i won't. Atleast not yet.

****************************

I leave early the next morning to Matthew's house. I'm staying there for the rest of the week.

The twilight shade in the sky and the crisp morning breeze relaxed me.

As i near his house, i notice the same girl sitting on her roof.

Her face was grim, as she faced the sunrise; her arms wrapped securely around her knees and her chin resting a top her knee.

I watched her from the distance for some time. Before my legs started to move again.

The person turned around to face me. Her eyes bore through mine. And i can't help but feel that I've been held by the intense gaze before. I'm sure it's not déjà vu.

I don't go around dreaming about girls. Well not since these last weeks. I used to have great dreams about Cara.
Great dreams. But now all i can think about is how i can forget her.And move on. Completely forget her.

I avert my gaze long after she has,And i continue walking.

I know i know her. And somehow she recognizes me. But from where.

\***************************

"We have 20 minutes remaining in this class students and you will use it to meet with your partner."

"Adams?" I called searching for the girl.

"I'm right behind you", i heard a half whisper.

"I don't have eyes in the back of my head", i hissed and turned around to look into a pair of brown eyes. Eyes that glistened with a bright golden glaze at the Sun's kiss. They're enchanting and beautiful and- i know those eyes.

"I saw you this morning ", i concluded.

"I doubt that",_ she replied and began writing in her book.

"I'm sure i saw you. I'm not stupid".

"You're words not mine", she answered still not looking at me," now can we get this over with cause I'm sure you take no pleasure in being seen with the likes of me".

She was right though. She wasn't exactly the splitting image of the kind of friends i have.

"Had", a voice in my head corrected me.

Yeah, had.

"I don't know anything about you so you'll write your part of the assignment and I'll write mine and then we combine it and sort out how the rest goes", she instructed.

"And the topic is?" I asked.

" Anything you want once it has something to do with who you are, what makes you you,why you're you and what you want for the future."

"That's all?" I asked surprised at how easy she made it sound.

"For some aspects we'll have to be together to sort it out but I'll let you know when the time comes", she finished gathering her stuff on point with the ring of the bell. She walked out without saying a word and a feeling I couldn't quite explain overwhelmed me. Probably it's thbackct that a lot of walking out has been going on in my life lately. Nothing seems right lately. Nothing feels like it should. Even shouting feels like silence.

**************************

"Has she called?" I asked my dad before i leave the kitchen.

"Why do you even bother yo think about her?" He asked obviously hurting at the mention of her name.

"What the hell us that supposed to mean?" I shot back.

"She left us Noah! She left! And i know it's alot to deal with but i can't make her come back!  I can't bring her back so if you're gonna stay here and cast blame on who did what go ahead. If she wanted to stay, she would've!"

"You didn't love her", i shouted at him.

"And the guess the feeling is mutual!" He retorted.

"But if you're questioning who really cares feel free to take a look around and see who's not here and who still is!" He berated at me and left the kitchen.

He was right. He was the only one here. No one else. Only him. And now only me. Leaning on the kitchen counter.